Thursday, December 6, 2012


Someday, people will listen my monotonous stoic voice and kill themselves out of pity. I get away, and they are dead.


I can just burn you with my eyes while I am looking at somewhere else. Hot as Hell.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

2 December

Today, 6 months. Thank you for everything, especially the ring. Haha. I love you so much my darling. My heart and love grow fonder for you and for us. Everyday.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

November 2

I believe jodoh is belong to Allah SWT. Allah can give it to you, as much as it can be taken back. So does life, Allah SWT gives us our soul, and if Allah's will to take back our life, to Him return we shall.

I love my life, people around me, my parents, my family, my boyfriend, his family, my friends. They all matter to me. But Allah knows best, sometimes we can steer the wheel, but sometimes wind blows to the undesirable way. We cant control the the wind.

Last night, a neighbour from kampung literally drop and dead. He was playing futsal, had breathing difficulty. Boom! dead. Just like that. Still in his 30's. This, makes me reflect a bit, and of course makes me feel a bit soft today (hence, this post). And it also a reminder to me, death is real, acknowledging mortality would make us value life. More.

P/s: May Allah forgives the dead, and place him with the believers. Amin.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

November 1

Beli laptop baru hari ini. Acer for RM1499. Not bad, for the price. But still, I am not comfortable with this Window 8. Nanti boleh lah tulis cerita panjang-panjang macam dulu. My old HP netbook masih boleh pakai, tapi slow, I give it to my sister. Supaya dia boleh guna untuk aktiviti karaoke youtube nya. Harap dia dapat upgrade sikit bagi laju.

Friday, October 12, 2012

11 Oktober

Ini ialah hari lahir aku. Tahun ini yang ke 27.

Terima kasih kepada yang titipkan ingatan, doa, ucapan ulang tahun. Semoga kita semua dirahmati Allah SWT.

Happy Mother's Day to my Mama. Semoga Allah SWT merahmati my Mama. Sihat dan gembira selalu.

Sibuk betul masa hari jadi semalam. I was in BTN camp, rush balik KK sebab ada meeting penting. Tahun ni dapat 2 biji kek. Terima Kasih. Minum2 dengan kawan, Makan lunch dengan anak murid. Weekend mau jumpa family di kampung, dan sambung aktiviti makan2 lagi.

I miss Maman so much. Minggu depan jumpa ya.. Insya Allah.

Syukur Alhamdulillah. People gave me two cakes on my 27th bday, Im lucky, I survive to adulthood. Alhamdulillah, again.

Monday, October 8, 2012

October 1

I went to Kudat again last week. For work. Kudat was awesome as usual. And I dont know why people make fuss about Ulu Kukut. I mean yeah.. the road is terrible, gravel, slippery whatever. Took us 15-20 minutes to get through the unpleasant road. The only thing that concern me about Ulu Kukut is the bandit story. I think, other than the bandit story, Ulu Kukut is a passable road, and we shall not make Ulu Kukut as big excuse to not to go to Kudat.

I went to Kota Marudu and Pitas too. Pitas is beautiful fishing village. And on the way to Kudat, I had chance to enjoy the view of Mt. Kinabalu fro Kota Belud side.

I have found my place, where I want to live for a very long time, here, Sabah. No regrets.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

September 2

Life can be a rough patch
Just go through with it
For my love is unconditional
Thick or thin
In sickness and health
I love you
Always did
Always will
Till God says otherwise
Even if so
We will have a good story to keep
When you fall
I promise
To catch you
Drop of love

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

September 1

Went to Sukau, Kinabatangan with Razman last weekend. It was awesome road tripping with him.

Monday, August 27, 2012

August 1

Back to work after a week long Hari Raya holiday.

Im going to Lahad Datu this Friday, on the first morning flight from BKI-LDU. Maman will fetch me at the airport. We plan a road trip to Sandakan, with a night stop at Kinabatangan. From Sandakan, I will hop on bus back to KK. And him, drive to Lahad Datu.

Selamat Hari Raya.

Monday, July 30, 2012

July 3

Meaningful weekend

1. Jalan-jalan bukan main, tidak shopping sangat pun. Walaupun plan shopping raya. Except me bought nokia dual sim phone. Sebab malas mau bawa 2 biji henpon bejalan2. Walla.. good one at RM160. Hidup lebih selesa dan minimalis

2. Sama-sama bayar zakat fitrah. Of course I guna duit I lah. But we paid at the same time to the same amil. Alhamdulilah. Happy lah masa bayar tu.

3. Show him the apartment I am buying. Construction on progress. Masa datang tu pun ada orang tengah tempek batu bata di unit atas my unit. Ground floor. 950 sqf. sahaja. Urusan jual beli still on going. Happy juga and puas hati to share this with him.

4. Went to Karambunai, Jalan2 malam around KK. Ok lah :)

5. Sahur and puasa sama2.. with my family too. Help me with house chore and beli minyak masak. He is good in grocery shopping.

6. He is on his way back now. Gantung sikit kerja hari isnin ini. Thus, this update. I miss you already buddy.

Monday, July 23, 2012

July 2

Salam Ramadan dan Selamat Berpuasa. Especially to my dearest, Razman. Take care dude.

Monday, July 9, 2012

July 1

Yesterday, 8th July 2012 was Razman's 27th Birthday. Happy birthday dude, wish you happiness. Same wish goes to us too.

I didnt buy him anything. Plan to take him out for late dinner or something in the end of this month.

Again, Happy birthday Cheers!

p/s: Today is my younger brother's 21st birthday. Razman knows, even he often forgot mine. Thanks to Facebook. Oh ya.. happy birthday!

Saturday, June 30, 2012

June 2

1. Last week, Sabtu, KK-Lahad Datu naik flight. Drive Lahad Datu-Tabin Wildlife-Kunak-Tawau. Bermalam di Tawau. Ahad Tawau-Semporna-Lahad Datu. Lahad-Datu-KK. More than 600km in less than 48hours.

Setelah 20 tahun aku jejak balik Tawau with Razman :)

2. Hari ini, drive balik kampung with Razman and his brother. Now, they are driving back to LD.

3. Azam 2007 lebih separuh sudah di qada. Banyak lagi tempat mau pergi, like Kinabatangan, return to Kudat, Keningau-Tenom-Tambunan. Bila habis sudah Azam 2007. Baru kita qada azam masa zaman sekolah dulu2.

p/s: Singgah Kunak dan aku makan KFC. Ya, di Kunak ada KFC.

Friday, June 22, 2012

June 1

At the office now. Endless filing, my office is like a morgue for trees. I'll off to Lahad Datu tomorrow. For a weekend with Razman. Hopefully all is well, since I hate travelling. Oh ya, this is my second time to Lahad Datu. The first time when I was 6 years old (may be). I cant remember.

So back to my files, documents, and hole puncher.

Monday, May 28, 2012

May 3

Just lie down next to me.
All I want to hear is the sound of your breathing. 
And you, be my everything.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

May 2

sibuk lah 2-3 bulan ni. Itu sahaja.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

May, May be nice to me

Hari ini Hari Pekerja. Hari Pekerja Ke-2 dalam hidup sebagai seorang buruh. Hari ini hari pekerja bercuti. Tapi aku bawa balik lab reports untuk ditanda.

Selamat Hari Buruh Kepada Semua Buruh Di Dunia.

Sunday, April 29, 2012

April 3

Serabut sikit weekend ni. Error di sana sini.

Apa pun, Im with my family. And I miss Maman so much.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

April 2

Sibuk yang amat sangat. Sekarang tengah cuti, sejak isnin. Tapi ni pun sambil buat presentation slide untuk bagi talk besok. Ya, talk. First time buat ni.

Nothing much, except spent my weekend with Razman. And he bought Fiji Instax Mini that I always want. Thanks dude!

Sekarang ni perlu sekat perbelanjaan. Sesungguhnya mengurus kewangan amat memeningkan. Today alone, service kereta, jumpa dentist, buat spek, cuci kereta, beli grocery, sudah buat aku lemas. Tadi bank call reminds untuk bayar kereta. Rasa macam mau cekik diri sendiri pun ada.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

April 1

There was a point when I thought my work is my life. I love my job, it is an answered prayer.

I dont think I was right, neither do I think I was wrong.

Now, I still like my job, as much as before. Nothing more or less. And I'm posting this shit during office hours using office's computer. Unethical? I know.

There's one thing I know,my life is bigger than my job. So screw up with the unethical thingy, at least for now.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

March 3

best buddy!

I am a bit kebaruan with this photo editing thingy. Here some pics taken while we had a quick outing last sunday. This is my fav spot in KK, everyday I use this busy towncentre's road because I like it so much. Especially the ATI building and the clock tower.

I was enjoying my favourite spot in KK, with of course, my favourite guy. Something I always wanted to do, and I did.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

March 2

Things I carry around with me (other than my attitude)
Wing Tip BKI-SDK

finally my own version of fuckyeahwhatsinmybag

Finally I have time to fool around with this photo editing stuff. Something I always want to do but have no time (read: Malas). I have a small nikon toy camera, very basic camera for camwhoring, usually I use my lousy phone camera Nokia E5.

Nothing much these days, other than working and thinking about the boyfriend (ok.. sila puke blood beramai-ramai). I think it is time to get a new laptop, since the current I'm using now is obviously irritating.

I used to love photography, until DSLR fags ruined it by carrying around and abused their expensive cameras and lens by taking photo of their McD's eating girlfriends.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

March 1

1. Work

Sibuk sikit bekerja lah kononnya. Semua orang pun sedemikian. I am glad people at work place are very cooperating. Kalau tak memang keras lah kan untuk selesaikan tugasan. So far I value their helps. Itu lah pointnya kena saling memback up.

My kids helped us a lot masa open day. I am proud of them. Their result for 2nd sem is already out. Yeah proud of them, really.

2. Finance

Still struggle to save money. Very. I try to beli rumah, but still tidak berjaya. I already signed untuk buat car loan. Kena buat satu2 lah kan.

I try my very best to pay hutang to my mom. Another RM1.5k left. So must work hard for that. Insya Allah, after clear up hutang to my mom, hutang to my dad is next. It is kind of hard to bayar RM5k withing less than 6 months.

Dalam kepala hotak; saving, saving, saving.

For myself, for future, for family, for us :)

3. Personal

Dapat anak buah baru, si zhafran. So now we have Apple (Fatihah), Moses (Paris), Jesus (Aran).

I love the dude so much. Truly, I am. Walaupun dia tiada Facebook, Twitter, Blog apatah lagi...

p/s: The boyfriend is going to spend his weekend in Jakarta. While me in KK. Sedih, but I have KK. So ok kot?

Friday, February 17, 2012

Sembah Allah SWT. Jangan sembah pendapat ustaz.

They have taken their scholars and monks as lords besides Allah , and [also] the Messiah, the son of Mary. And they were not commanded except to worship one God; there is no deity except Him. Exalted is He above whatever they associate with Him. [9:31]

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Kepada orang-orang yang disayangi

saya sayang kamu semua. Sangat sangat.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Sandakan Februari 2012

So I went to Sandakan again. 2 weeks in a row. This time was strictly for work. On our way back to Kota Kinabalu, we went to the infamous Luanti Fish Spa, Ranau. Luanti is a beautiful village I must say.
Luanti fishes

I visited schools, gave talks and all. One of them was SMK Pamol, Beluran. Located in oil palm plantation, this school is quite unknown to many. I was lucky I had opportunity to visit the school, met the students and teachers.

SMK Pamol, Beluran

I had quick meeting with the boyfriend, about 10 minutes at Batu 32 checkpoint. Before he rushed back to Lahad Datu and I proceeded to Sandakan town. Miss him so much now.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Sandakan Januari 2012

English Tea House next to Agnes Keith's. We gave crochet a try. A pathetic try.
The Town. I kinda like it here because I was with the boyfriend :p
St Micheal's and all angels. Checking this place off of my list was a must. Sudah lama berhajat untuk sampai ke sini. I know nothing about architecture, but I like this one.
From observatory tower. We didnt go up to the tower. Nice view, banyak serangga.

Thank you very much to the dude for kindly be my tour guide, my friend, the driver. I love you dude.

I am going to Sandakan (again) next week. This time is for work.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Islam agama indah

Ramai tanya perubahan lepas haji. Ini jawapan aku:

Aku rasa biasa-biasa saja, tiada lah apa yang berubah. Macam tudung aku makin panjang atau aku pakai abaya berjalan2. Dari segi pakaian, masih macam dulu. Dari segi perasaan, macam biasa, cuma lebih kepada lega, sebab sudah tunai rukun. Alhamdulillah. Semuanya macam biasa sahaja.

Sekarang ni lebih banyak dengar muzik dan online macam biasa. Severe juga kebergantungan aku dengan internet ni. Agak teruk lah juga.

Perkara yang aku tidak berapa berkenan atmosfera alam maya di Malaysia sekarang ialah influx kemunculan ustad ustad internetwi. Bukan aku ni anti ustad, tapi yang aku perasan lah kan ada antara ustad ni suka sangat menerakhakan orang lain, terutama kaum wanita. Baik dalam facebook, twitter, youtube dan blog, bercambah2 ustad2 internet ni.

Lepas tu muncul lah hukum hakam yang kadang2 mengelirukan orang ramai. Kejap McD haram, kejap KFC haram, tak cukup dengan itu coca cola, ribena segala. Kadang2 ustad tu jawab berdasarkan soalan. Jadi hukum tu sangat spesifik mengikut kes study (soalan) berkenaan. Tapi tafsiran pengguna internet ni bercampur baur. So bukan lah salah ustad tu juga.

Akan tetapi ustad2 aku mohon sangat berhati-hati menghalal haram kan perkara ni. Sebab kamu tu namanya ustad, orang ramai serba serbi sedikit sebanyak terpengaruh kata2 kamu. Kalau yang bijak tu dia ada usaha nak verify hukum hakam yang kamu putuskan.. Yang tak berapa bijak amacam?

Let me be clear, aku minum coca cola, ribena. Makan McD, makan KFC. Kalau ada ustad kata harom, aku dengan yakin tetap telan ribena, coke, McD segala. Tanpa was was.

Bila berkaitan dengan kaum wanita, asyik memanjang lah kaum wanita salah. Hantaran mahal salahkan wanita, kes cerai salahkan wanita, suami kawin lain salahkan wanita, asyik2 masuk nerakha. Siap ada orang update status di Facebook ciri-ciri isteri nerakha. Apa jahanam lah isteri pun kau nerakhakan. Memang lah ada isteri yang mungkar/ingkar/lawan cakap, kan tu dah memang tugas suami menjaga isteri. Dah agak2 tak mampu hendak menjaga isteri, well you know what to do kan. Tak Tahu Apa Nak Buat? nampak sangat diri sendiri yang ilmu cetek nak jadi suami. Tapi tetap tak mengaku lalu salahkan isteri.

Wanita ni tanggungjawab lelaki. Dan juga ujian untuk lelaki. Kalau asyik2 kau nerakhakan wanita.. habis tu kau mahu kahwin dengan siapa? Lelaki? Kau nak berteman buat seks dengan siapa kalau asyik2 nak mencerca isteri, mengungkit ketidaksempurnaan isteri. Lepas tu pandai pula berpayung emas bagai konon hadis, entah hadis mana kau cedok? hadis Uslaimatul kazzab? Tolong lah for once jadi lelaki sejati. Bukan pengecut with no balls.

Islam ni agama indah, Allah SWT maha pengasih, maha penyayang, maha pengampun, maha pemurah, maha kaya, maha berkuasa.

Kenapa lah ceramah agama kau tu asyik masuk nerakha.. cuba highlight perkara2 yang indah, yang syorga, yang baik, yang cinta, yang gembira. Ustad-ustad jangan lah hanya pandai send women to hell and blame women and Jews for everything. Kau ni Nazi chauvinist ke apa?

Kalau asyik cakap masuk nerakha, nanti orang agama lain kata orang islam ni asyik2 masuk nerakha. Cuba lah sekali2 highlight, keindahan ibadat ke.. sifat Rasulallah yang wajar diikuti and so on.. instead of menerakhakan orang lain bagaikan engkau punya tiket masuk ke syorga.

Apa korang ingat tidak depress asyik2 orang mengata kau masuk nerakha.

Ustads, Nerakha syorga, Dosa pahala, semua itu rahsia Allah. Kita tidak tahu lagi mana pengakhiran kita. So tak payah nak judgemental berlebihan sampai orang nak minum coca cola pun korang pandang semacam, macam kan dia tu order menu dari nerakha.

Monday, January 16, 2012

The Planter's Girlfriend

Razman came last saturday, and brought this with him. So nice of you dude. He remembers, I used to say I hate flower when we were in college. I did, but I don't now. In fact, I was trained as botanist, and still reading and teaching biology and botany for living.

I super like this, I don't know he is that thoughtful. See you next weekend dude, I am so looking forward to spend Chinese new year break with you in your hometown. You are indeed the perfect gardener who keeps the garden in my heart blossoming :)

Monday, January 9, 2012


When I was in Mecca, I saw adult men holding each other's hand. Usually when they did tawaf, or went out of The Grand Mosque after subuh prayer or simply walking in the street. Some of them Pakistani, some of them Bangladeshi, some of them Africans, some of them may be Turkish, Indonesian, even Arabs. And I saw Malaysian too, holding hand during tawaf, in the street, walking to Jamrat in Mina.

When we were walking inside the tunnel on our way to Jamrat in Mina, I saw three Malaysian men, quite old, holding hand. I understand their fear, me too was afraid. After all it was a very crowded tunnel, one way out, one way in, it could turn to death trap (God forbids).

It was like, "Hey dont worry my friend, I got your hand in my hand, we are together, nothing bad will happen to us, not when I am holding your hand". Of course those men didn't utter such words. But that what I felt when I saw them.

Simple little thing, but to me it is beautiful. The true bromance.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

I simply love malam jumaat. Hence, the photo.

This is like a very soothing picture, but the boyfriend said tidak comel (Hey kau sedar tak kau ngutuk anak siapa tu?). But, thanks for liking the meaning. Me too, like the meaning. Whoa~

I Miss you so much. And I am cool enough to tell you that everyday.

Dear ladies,

Pernah dengar tak pepatah atau saying "Perempuan kalau belajar tinggi-tinggi pun akhirnya ke ceruk dapur juga tempatnya"? Mesti pernah kan.. terutama perempuan.

Ok, aku perempuan, tidak lah belajar tinggi, cuma cukup. Aku masuk dapur, jika perlu dan aku tahu apa barang yang selalu ada didapur. Mungkin betulah apa pepatah tu katakan. Literally.

Dear Ladies,

Jika ada orang berkata kepada kamu, "Perempuan kalau belajar tinggi-tinggi pun akhirnya ke ceruk dapur juga tempatnya". Masuk lah ke dalam dapur. Di dalam dapur itu ada pisau (mungkin juga parang). Ambil pisau yang ada di dapur, dan tikamlah orang yang berkata itu dengan pisau. Sebanyak 7 kali.

When done, you may say; We women do go to kitchen, take the knife, and stab you seven times.

Yours truly,

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

2011 and 2012


1. Buat Haji dengan mama dan bapa (Alhamdulillah). Homesick hari-hari. Cabaran banyak. Tapi belajar pun banyak. Alhamdulillah. Moga2 ada rezeki pada masa hadapan. Semuanya dengan izin Allah SWT.

2. Job wise, semua macam biasa, converted to DS45 on April. Rezeki. Now, confirmation.

3. Start dating my best friend of 8 years. Of course not a smooth sailing, and distance makes it even harder. But.. hey I am happy. And I hope you too dude!

4. Merangkak-rangkak belajar menjadi dewasa.

5. Ada boros sikit berbelanja, tambahan lagi sudah pandai mengorder buku secara online.


1. started biasa2 saja.

2. So far kerja biasa2. Tapi sudah mula menyelongkar jurnal semula. I need serious jolt to my neuron.

3. Diharap 2012 lebih baik hendaknya. Moga2 ada rezeki untuk semua... haha (biasa lah wish2 yang standard)

4. Wish2 special tidak payah lah tulis diblog. Panjatkan saja terus kepada Allah SWT (trip2 alim lah pula)