Last night I went to cinema to watch The Tourist (review layyytttteeerrr). Yes, alone. Had a very simple dinner at cinema, padahal lapar sangat masa tu tidak sempat pergi dinner since the movie started at 7.10, so I grabbed whatever offered on the counter. Special treatment lah pula semalam, since the hall was sooo empty.. like less than 15 viewers, the stewardess was kindly deliver my meal ke dalam panggung ok. First time. Baik sangat2. Dan burger itu baru masak.
Sebenarnya tengah serabut and susah hati sikit2. Since I havent receive any (good) news from the HR department and my big boss said, there is still chance that my position wont be converted to 1 level higher (41 to 45) but they will ask/offer/order (pick which term you prefer) to further my study instead (with current skill lah).
I dont mind much about pangkat and all (sikit2 adalah juga). What bother me the most is the further study part. Yes I have started reading and thinking, but semua masih mentah. The idea, the tajuk, the field, the scopes, the location, the money, the jatidiri segala azam dan kekuatan are still obscure.
Of course I have more or less a blueprint in my mind, but so far it is so vague, and I cant put it in words or plan.
Semalam dah start godek jurnal sana sini, sambung hari ni. Koleksi saja lah kan. Tak tahu lah hot hot ciken shit or what. Yang penting masa ada semangat nak buat kerja kita buat lah dulu. Lagipun I do justice to my tugas hakiki. I have already done all jobs need to be done so far, just waiting for the answer scripts reached my desk (if they want me to mark them lah). The lab manual for first practical is done, the draft for third practical is 90% done, and I have planned for 2nd and 4th week practical. I think those already cover the workload for half of next semester.
Bila baca jurnal2 ni, what I crave the most is discussion with expert or at least someone who knows what exactly these journals are about. I wish boleh diskas dengan sesiapa... I do prefer work alone, locked inside my room. But I still need help/advice/suggestion from others. Sadly tiada sesiapa yang boleh diskas dengan masa ni.