Sunday, November 7, 2010


My back is fine. I mean better. Rest is the best prescription, right?. My next trip to the wild is sort of disturbing me. First and foremost I am not physically fit, and I am not sure what I am going to do. At first I am thinking about to stick with my current field of study, collect and identify. But my senior (much senior) colleague suggested to me (and others) to find our niche of interest.

I know, molecular biology and myself are not mean for each other. So what option do I have? Plenty. For now, I am thinking about doing ecology or something to do with environment. Although people around me are mainly focusing on chemistry or environmental chemistry, I dont think I can go that far. At least not for now.

I have plenty to read, learn, and design, and those tasks pile up on my already backbreaking curating job. I am tired. But we are aiming for four papers at least. Too ambitious? I prefer term passion. Just we need to put hugeass extra effort and times.

Torn between my past club and my current club, honestly, my team right now is still organizing, I have already received pre mature unnecessary taunt from those up hill-er. You are just participating, while we are organizing ourself, you are just a passenger, we are given the whole boat to be navigated by ourself. Honestly dear, we are not in the same class here. Save your pre mature comments for yourself. And I am sick with pseudo-racist remarks, rude fat jokes, and perasan bagus nak mampos puji diri melambung tinggi haramjaddah sila pergi mati.

As cliche as its sounds, we have our own strength and weakness. Some people are damn good in wild, some people are awesome in lab. Some people are good in both, and some may be suck in everything. Which ever group we fall into, or I fall into, let me be clear, I am playing for the shirt I am wearing.

I gave my heart once to you. You waste no fucking time to break it. You had you chance, you blew it. Now, I am giving back to whom who put trust in me.

I always say to myself, this is business we have chosen. Just have to deal with it.

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