Sunday, April 11, 2010

Married People and Me.

I facebook a lot. Well people do declare their marital/relationship status in facebook because they need recognition from emmm others facebook users (?). Anyway, my guy friends, well.. so do my girl friends often get jealous with our married friends. And they too want to get married so they can change their relationship status to married or just be married.

Ok fuck.

I dont know what married is. It is a relationship, obviously. But I dont know the essence or the what, why, how. Fuck it I dont want to know. What I know is, some married people are living in denial. The fact that their marriage is not so rosy at all, but they want it to appear so sweet and flowery and whatever shit that makes the relationship is worth to envy for by others.

Little did they know that, they are so fucked up, but afraid to make a u-turn because of kids, afraid of being alone, they are old, or the social stigma or whatever. Which is good if they put the kids' interest on the top. They compromised with their own shitty live and relationship. Well some guys may abuse the middle age crisis thingy and start looking for a fresh err.. woman (I want to use obscene word, but... well I am good, so I cant).

Well, Sex and Money are not problem in marriage until there is problem with sex or money or both. Get it? No? I dont care.

I talk about sex occasionally. No, not sex talk. Sometimes, somewhere, the sex topic slipped into the ordinary conversation (read: online chat). So there it goes. Whenever sex topic is discussed, few times people/friends suggest me to get married. Their reason is I must get married or "kau sudah wajib kahwin". I wonder why they give me such suggestion but that's what I got for quite few times from few people. I just dont get these people's logic. How they passed their judgment on who is wajib to kahwin or who is harus to kahwin or who is haram or who is sunat to kahwin? well I dont know about that either. So you fucking judgmental married oriented people, what is your yardstick to judge who is ready to get married and who isnt? How you determined it?

I dont know, may be just because I talk about sex, then to them I must get married? Damn!. Roaches have sex too. And we are human, sex is in us, with us. Marriage is more than just a sex you fucking dumbass!. Owh then what? refer to ustaz or ustazah and ask them to teach you the most proper way to screwed up? when and where? Thursday night (malam jumaat)? what? is it improper for the married couple to have sex on monday morning? sunday afternoon? what?

Fuck you, nobody tells me when to get married. Yes. Dont. You. Ever. Tell. Me. When. To. Get Married. Because I will shove your nikah certificate up into your filthy fat ass. So you will have problem to present it in court just in case your marriage end up in the court battle.

Sometimes I do think I hate married people. Because they are parading their relationship in such disgusted manner. I am not a marriage nazi. I dont care if they are just married. But if they judge me because I am unmarried and tell me in front of my nose I shall get married because I talk about sex, well that's too much. Fuck them. Worse if they tell me to have kids. What the fuck?. You fuck, you breed, I dont care. What I ask is, do not let your crying, screaming, jumping, fucking annoying sprems and ovums final products come near me. Especially when I eat. Because I care of my food, so feed your offspring and let me eat in peace. And whether I want to have offspring or not that's my call, my business. Dont tell me when, dont tell me how. If I want for your opinion, I promise, I'll ask for one.

I am an ordinary person, the good one, I let you being married, and please let me being single. Because that's the way I like it. If anyone who has gut to tell me "You must get married", I will eat their children. See? I can be bad too. One wrong question asked, I am bad.

Well, to the singles out there, especially ladies... being single is not that bad.

To adding some flavours, to married people (especially women), below are guides/indications to know your marriage is not so rosy after all. Or in other words Fucked Up.

1. If your (your wife's) tudung nikah is more expensive than your mas kahwin, watch out. There are plenty brides out there who are willing to sell their future kids' future college's fund over err... not so important things on their wedding day.

2. All your husband want is a new sport ream set for his proton while you are pregnant with your first child and his salary is less than RM 3000 per month. Yes, your husband doesnt know how to prioritize. You married to an asshole, now he is fathered your unborn child. Congratulation, you are sooo fucked up, literally and figuratively whatever, accept that. Move fucking on.

3. You are married for 3 months and have to buy another new wardrobe for your shoes. Yes, you have 2 legs but have like 3489010 pairs of shoes.

4. Your husband wants a new, bigger, stupider spoiler for his 1989 honda accord while you are pregnant with your third child, and you havent set up college funds for your toddler and your 1 year old baby. you are renting a 3 rooms flat or squatting in your parents' house, because your saving are insufficient to buy a house. Yes, again, your husband is an asshole. Happy?

5. Your husband wants to buy a new nikon SLR camera set for (retarded) novice, because all of sudden he finds passion in photography. Or because his pot bellied equally retarded buddies urge him to buy one so they can have a very faggot weekend outing together. And yes, you bail out your kids diapers money for that month, because your kids' father is simply an asshole. And may be a faggot with slr camera around his neck.

6. Your salary is below RM 3000 per month. Your wife is asking for new tea sets that you promised her for your last year's anniversary. Your parents want you to buy them a new air conditioner. Your wife wants you buy the same air conditioner for her parents. Your first born will enroll into standard one next year and you still have not prepare a thing for him/her. Just in time, your car needs new set of tyre, and the gearbox needs to be overhauled, and the road tax and insurance will be expired soon. Welcome to a marriage.

Yes, all 6 are related to money. The rule is simple, If you are poor dont breed.

1 comment:

ORIAJ said...

bukan nikon sekarang ni yang top.. tapi canon 7D kekekeke semua org mau pakai 7D kakakak biar pun takat amik gambar masa makan kepsi