MEH LAH KLIK...

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Gambar-gambar kenangan bersama Nel.

Happy happy man. He was always a happy man. Masa ni dia extra happy sebab yang organized dinner ni kawan2 Nel (junior dan akak2 ustazah).

suka sangat main sms. Expert!

Akhirnya aku ada kekuatan untuk melihat semula gambar-gambar kenangan aku bersama Nel (Nelazahar Junaidi) masa kami sama-sama di UKM. Tidak banyak gambar kami bersama. Aku harap Muhammad sudah tahu akan pemergian Nel. Aku sudah mengemailkan berita itu. Tapi email kepada Muhammad, sepi tidak berbalas.

Muhammad adalah antara kawan Nel yang paling Nel kasihi. Sejak dari Matrik Labuan lagi. Nel ialah orang yang ramah, ditambah pula dengan Muhammad yang baik hati, pandai pula mengaji, suara pun sedap (muka pun boleh tahan sejuk2 gitu). Nel sangat ambil berat dengan Muhammad, lepas kami sama-sama masuk kolej yang sama di UKM. I remember back then, if Alif was the muazzien or Muhammad was leading Yassin recitation, Nel would tell me via sms.

Sebenarnya, kalau malam jumaat selalu teringat Nel, sebab Nel meninggal selepas asar hari khamis, di Hospital Kuching. Aku dapat berita pun malam jumaat. Nel dikebumikan hari jumaat sebelum solat jumaat, di kampung nya di Sarikei.

Semalam, aku lepak sorang2 di kafe, makan mee goreng. Dulu, Nel lah member melepak di kafe. Dari masa kml sampai ukm. Pernah masa cuti mid sem kami lepak di kafe sampai jam 1-2 pagi. Seronok bersembang dengan Nel. Masa tu ada rakan-rakan yang lain juga, anak-anak borneo yang kampung jauh.

Alhamdulillah, I can accept the lost much better now. Sedih tetap sedih, tapi ketentuan Allah SWT itu wajib diterima. Mati itu pasti. Yang aku mahu kenang dan pahatkan dalam hati dan ingatan ialah saat-saat aku bersama dengan Nel. He was a great friend. I always miss him and love him.

Al-Fatihah, untuk Nel, semoga perjalanan mu dipermudahkan di sana. Amin.

*Gambar diambil semasa Dinner FST, UKM, 11 Februari 2007. Kali terakhir bergambar dengan Nel.

Dan empangan pun mulai pecah ='(

Monday, March 29, 2010

Review: Gadoh 2009

Fuck you Celcom Broadband. Keep on disconnecting every 2 minutes.

Mencarut pun sudah, ok mari kita review. Tadi oleh kerana aku pemalas dan jobless maka, aku lepak dibilik sepanjang hari main internet. Dalam aku melilau2 dalam youtube, tiba2 aku terlintas hati nak tengok filem Gadoh. Filem ni aku tahu melalui blog. Anyway, Gadoh ni boleh lah di masukkan dalam kumpulan filem Indie. Tak kisah lah apa tafsiran indie pada kamu. Apa pun filem ini tak lepas LPF, censorship board. Maka mari lah beramai2 tonton wayang itu di youtube. Kalau ada dvd/vcd, boleh lah korang beli. Yang asli.

Pelakon dalam filem ini semua muka yang korang tak akan nampak dalam filem Razak Mohiddeen atau Syamsul Haslam atau Ahmad Idham. Pelakon utamanya Zahiril Adzim (watak Khalil), pelakon yang sama yang memegang watak Boy dalam siri tv Kami. Selain tu, Namron (watak Azman), seingat aku Namron ialah orang yang memegang watak Lebai dalam filem Gubra dan kalau tak silap dia ada berlakon dalam filem Paloh. Selain tu, wajah pelakon yang aku biasa jumpa ialah watah Pengetua Chua, dan Ayah kepada watak Heng (Nicholas Liew) penjual char koi. Nak tengok lakonan watak Ayah kepada Heng ni boleh lah korang tengok balik filem Sepet, Gubra dan Spinning Gasing. Watak2 lain aku tak kenal sangat muka.

Jalan cerita simple tapi jujur. Terlampau jujur sampai LPF tak berani nak lepaskan untuk tontonan umum. Aku faham tujuan LPF tersebut kerana honesty is the best policy but the best is not for everyone. Kejujuran itu adalah yang terbaik, cuma yang terbaik bukan lah untuk semua.

Hal bekisar tentang kisah budak sekolah bergaduh. Geng cina dan Geng Melayu, yang tersepit ditengah ialah budak india, cikgu cina, dan budak perempuan. Jalan cerita predictable, macam lepas gaduh pas tu cemolot lah. Lebih kurang, but what I value the most is not the destination but the journey, macam mana dari mereka gadoh lepas tu boleh berbaik.

Aku rasa the biggest concern oleh LPF ialah dalam filem ini skrip banyak memaki hamun. Maki hamun tak lah kaw, secukup rasa saja. Memang kita semua (yang pandai memaki macam aku lah, yang mulus kudus tu mungkin tak, dan golongan mulus kudus ini lah yang hendak dilindungi LPF) hari2 maki hamun macam tu. Babak confession oleh ahli teater itu yang aku paling tak tahan, My favourite scene. Terutama bila watak Jan (Khairil Ridzuan Saharudin) buat confession. Memang jujur gila, aku tengok ulang2, dan aku siap google, siapa lah mamat ni.

Kepada Khairil Ridzuan Saharudin, Tahniah! Memang power kau buat scene tu, mungkin tidak lah sememorable scene "siapa itu Kassim Selamat, Lawyer? Majistret?" (watak Nyonya Mansor) dalam Ibu Mertuaku, atau scene "Tipah Tertipu" (Sheila Majid) dalam Ali Setan. Tahniah juga kepada penulis skrip.

Bila masa buat confession tu, watak cina kutuk watak melayu, "orang melayu tak hormat orang cina". "orang melayu tak payah belajar pun boleh masuk u". "orang melayu suka cari gaduh". Tapi kutuk2 dari watak cina tu aku anggap sebagai tumbukan badan/jab/tumbuk rusuk. Tapi bila watak Jan buat confession "cina makan babi, pengotor, berak tak pernah basuh", "cina masuk neraka", "bangun pagi tak mandi pagi, badan bau busuk". ha!.. kat sini aku anggap ini kutukkan bertahap upper cut, hook, atau lower belt blow (yang part masuk neraka tu). Memang berkesan lah kutukkan dan maki hamun tu. maki hamun jujur.

Disclaimer: ****yang aku tulis maki hamun semua tu bukan sebab aku nak maki hamun bangsa, tapi itu skrip dalam filem*****

Selain itu, yang aku suka, bila mereka dah kira boleh get along, masa scene makan pakai chopstick tu. Yang part itu aku suka. Memang lah simple saja, makan pakai chopstick. Tapi, bagi aku untuk memahami orang yang berlainan dari kita, tak perlu lah nak buat pesta/karnival/riang ria bertemakan perpaduan yang menelan belanja beratus ribu ringgit, cukup sekadar pay attention to little thing that cans close the gap between us.

Dan filem ini juga mencerminkan hakikat sebenar dalam sistem pendidikan kita. Iaitu semua tentang prestasi, semua tentang reputasi, semua tentang I want to look good, We must look good, we must score A. Aku setuju dengan skrip untuk watak Linda. Apa yang sekolah harap dari pelajar ialah keputusan yang baik, supaya prestasi sekolah mantap, nampak unggul dimata kementerian. All about what the school wants, pengetua wants. Dan watak cikgu pengampu tu memang berkesan. Sebab memang wujud pun cikgu pengampu. Cikgu yang berlagak, cikgu yang kejar pangkat sampai lupa why they are in school at the first place. Cikgu yang stereotyping pelajar.

Kalau kasi gred, filem ini dapat A- dari aku. Sebab aku tak tahu pasal sinematografi, camera angle semua ni. Maka aku tak kira point benda2 tersebut. Korang nak kasi gred pakai mutu sinematografi, lakon layar, camera placing, fokus bagai.. go ahead. For me, I like the script, I like the story, walaupun cerita biasa2 saja, pasal budak sekolah, I am glad at least ini bukan pasal ketua pengawas nak tackle Liyana Jasmay. Atau budak nakal kemudian jadi top student (Watak Azroy dalam Gila Gila remaja).

satu aku tak suka, tiada subtitle. ha.. ini lah menyempitkan pasaran filem ni. tukang bikin filem, sila buat subtitle ya.

Untuk Big Boy dalam industri filem malaysia, tolong lah beri perhatian kepada pelakon seperti Zahiril (dah menang award pun kan), dan Namron. Yang bagus2 macam ni selalu di hujung2. Yang berlakon kayu haram jaddah harap kan gel rambut satu tiub haa.. yang itu pulak bertepek2 muka di layar kaca dan layar perak. Memang lah rezeki, bukan aku nak dengki pelakon kayu gel rambut satu tiub tu. Aku nak orang beri perhatian kepada orang yang memang berbakat. Zahiril, kau memang main teater eh?

offtopik sikit:
Aku tahu babi itu haram dimakan oleh orang Islam (dan yahudi). Tapi, jangan lah kita tak boleh makan, kita marah orang yang makan. Dia makan sebab dia boleh makan. Macam aku tak makan durian, tiba2 aku beriya halang kau makan durian, kau marah tak?. Nak2 durian tu kau punya comfort food.

Biasa lah orang makan babi ni kan. Bukan aku nak menggalakkan orang makan babi or something alike. But it is just pork what is the big deal? tak kan lah kerana member tu makan babi, kita nak maki dia. Kawan2 aku ramai yang makan babi, tak pulak aku nak maki2 mereka. Bak kata member aku dulu "asalkan dia tak suap daging babi (paksa makan) tu ke mulut kau.. ha biar kan saja lah".

Yang makan babi pula, dah tahu kawan tu tak makan babi. Jangan lah makin kau bantai buka babi dalam tin, siap2 buat sandwich babi, dan offer member yang tak makan babi tu makan. Memang lah niat kau tu sharing. Tapi, be more alert lah kan. Aku pun risau juga kalau member makan babi tiba2 kuah babi tu tertitik diatas meja. risau juga aku nak guna meja dia. So makan lah babi ditempat sepatutnya. Tak kan kau nak bawa satay babi masa member muslim pelawa buat potluck kan.

eh.. ni terjadi kat aku ok. Dah tahu aku tak makan babi, makin diordernya babi didepan2 aku lagi ada. Tapi, tak ada lah yang order tu paksa aku makan. Kalau member tu tapau pau berinti babi, bawa masuk sama2 dalam kereta.. buat2 tak tahu aja lah. Yang bungkus pau babi ni pun beringat lah juga, jangan sampai tercicir pula pau berinti babi tu dalam kereta member, satu hal pula nak samak nanti. Kalau arak jangan cerita lah. Aku pakai tudung ni, tup tup dihidangkan beer. Aku tolak pelawaan minum beer, di offer pulak wine. Dia kasi up lagi percentage alkohol dalam minuman yang dihidang. (opkoz ditolak juga).

Pernah waktu matrik dulu, member aku hangin dengan roomate dia sebab makan babi dalam tin, lepas tu kuah babi tertumpah atas meja. Dia kata, "habis meja tu bersalut babi". Means bukan sekali dua lah kuah babi tu tumpah sampai "bersalut" meja tu. Haih~ pening lah dia nak ingatkan setiap kali tetamu datang ke bilik supaya berhati2 agar tak menyentuh "meja bersalut babi" tersebut.

Gunakan akal fikiran. Tu aja pengajarannya.

(tiba2 nak tengok Ali Setan pulakkk).

Status: Waiting for Viva.

I finished reading The Chamber by John Grisham. I like the ending. Expected, but I like it. My second fiction for this month. Probably the fastest read fiction by me, took me 3 weeks. Yes, I am a slow reader. Looking forward for more and more reading next time. About the same time, a friend finished reading his Harry Potter's book. Which is good. We exchanged our comments on Facebook.

Facebook is the only book that I read religiously these days.

Other than that nothing much development. I am still waiting for my viva voce, eagerly. Well I have re-read my volume, up to chapter 3, corrected what need to be corrected, there are plenty more to come. I have marked them. I dont give a damn about those specimens in the lab. Seriously I just cannot look at them for now. Give me sometimes, I need to step away from the lab for a while.

I know the Passca is always delaying stuffs. Everything is delayed in Passca. I dont know what the hell crap they do in the well air conditioned office. May be just like me, they too are busy watering plant in Farmville, smuggling something in Mafia War, or posting comments somewhere. Thus, all matters are delayed. The forms, the applications, the appeals, the vivas, the corrections, the results, the certificates, the graduations, everything, every fucking thing.

I need to defend my volume on April. Early, middle, or end of, at least I finished my viva on April. Then I correct what suppose to be corrected, fill up those forms, and ask, oh no... tell them to stamp my forms, and let me fucking graduate. If I dont get my viva schedule by third week of April. I will write strong full of barb letter to them.

A job application is sent, one or two will follow. Hopefully soon. It is a big-BIG-gauntlet ahead. But Bring It On. I am looking forward to pull some strings, or cables, or ropes, or whatever to get a job. Yes, I am willing to elbow friends in this. I dont mean to hurt them, but if I dont, then it will be me who get elbowed. so.. kind of an ultimatum to me. This is strictly business.

I need job more than I need money.

Along the way, again, I bumped with pre maturely exhausted relationship. I have countless relationships which were going downhill without notice. Because I didnt know what to do with it. Usually it was abruptly stopped or dragged into undated dormancy.

Sometimes, I do think that I did let some good relationships slipped through my fingers all the times.

P/s: Will write the review of My Name Is Khan later.



Sunday, March 28, 2010

Earth Hour datang lagi, with same old bullshit

Mula2 malas aku nak menyentuh kisah Earth Hour ni. Kerana ianya bullshit.

Apa pun aku menyokong sebarang usaha menjimatkan sumber di muka bumi ini. Aku senang saja, buat benda kecil2 tak perlu nak bercandle light vigil di KLCC, konon2 anda concern kepada pencemaran alam dan pemanasan global. Cukuplah padam kan main power bila tidak menggunakan peralatan elektrik dan elektronik, jimatkan penggunaan petrol, padamkan paip air semasa gosok gigi/shave, dan bawa beg reuseable semasa membeli belah di pasar raya atau bakul makcik2 masa pergi ke pasar basah. Setiap hari. jadikan rutin. bukan hanya sejam dalam masa setahun. itu populist namanya.

Be creative in helping to save resources. Kesedaran tanpa tindakkan tu bullshit namanya.

click here to read my previous postings on environment issue. (amaran: posting semua panjang2 dan kadang aku cakap pasal benda lain juga sekali dalam tu). Semua mak nenek pendapat aku pasal plastik, air, pencemaran alam sekitar, kitar semula aku dah tulis dalam post2 yang ada dalam link itu

Welcoming Spring.

kereta rosak. But I am surprisingly (relatively) cool with it. so my car is kaputt every 2 months or so. No big deal huh?

eh.. mengada2 kan tajuk post aku. Perasan 4 musim yuuu..

Aku ni nak sangat pergi ke Kundasang. si Pak Cik pula sibuk memanjang. err.. aku nak geram pun, memang betul dia sibuk. Ia lah kalau weekend 2 hari berjimba2 mesti esoknya malas nak buat kerja kan. Bagus weekend charge betri dikatil masing.

Aku ok, weekdays, weekends, midnight, sunday morning, sunday night, semua senang lenang, lenggang kanggung (ok tipu, waistline dah bertambah saiz, nak turun tangga pun aku mengah, apa lagi nak berlenggang kangkung). eh kecuali selasa malam dan jumaat malam, sebab aku ada kelas silat.

sebut pasal silat. kelas ke4 silat hari tu makin susah. pergh... aku nak menyelit, nak mengilas, nak membantai.. aku rasa macam terbantai badan sendiri pun ada. tapi buah dah makin lama makin up lah. Nampak sikit gaya tempurnya. aku doubt juga kalau dia kasi exam, boleh atau tak aku nak tunjuk langkah ni? nak ingat bila nak langkah, bila nak tepis pun aku tak berapa pass. nak gelek kaki ke kiri ke kanan pun aku tak berapa pandai.

aku sebagai novice memang ada naluri mengelak. walaupun guru kata jangan elak, tapi tepis. apa pun harap2 ok.

selalu aku jumpa budak2 silat di kg. a. tapi boo layan. biasalah anak2 underG. They give me the that stare... malas mau layan lah mereka ini.

ok biarkan disitu kisah silat. kita kembali ke cerita jalan2.

aku ni dah lama nak berjalan. last time pun aku berjalan masa training di Indon dulu. Thats it thats all.

err.. kalau ada sesiapa kenal dengan orang yang balik ke kundasang, kenalkan lah.. aku nak hitch hiking kereta beliau. (hahaha.. ada gofren marah ni karang).



Saturday, March 27, 2010

Some people refuse to grow up. Even so, it wont stop them from ageing.

Facebook. Again.

I spend countless hours on Facebook. I stalk, I comment, I stalk, I read comment, I share links, I connect with people. Facebook is the only book that I religiously read everyday.

Relationship, I think your relationship status is not official until you announce it on Facebook. Wedding pictures are not enough. I like-LIKE- wedding picture.

But I cannot stand err... malam pertama jokes on Facebook'. Yeah, everyone knows those newlyweds had sex, no need for you to tease them. It is just sex. Even roaches have sex. And we are human. Leave it there. Grow fucking up!.

And there are people who have enough guts or balls or ovaries or (insert your favourite organ) to ask the pengantin about baby news. Oh no, they are not asking, they are demanding the baby news. The couple are just married for a week. What do you expect? a baby bump? rasa penat kenduri tak habis lagi, dah kena suruh beranak.

when you are single, they are asking "bila mau kahwin?". When you are married, they are asking "bila nak ada anak?". Tanya pula tak kira masa, lepas seminggu kawin, pinggan mangkuk lepas kenduri pun tak habis susun dalam almari lagi, dah sibuk suruh pengantin beranak.

like they are cheering to the newlyweds "go have sex, go get pregnant, faster faster faster". Macam dia yang bayar medical expenses for pregnancy and post natal care.

They expect the young couple to reproduce as soon as possible, in great hurry as if the mankind is facing very serious extinction. This is what I call, public pressure or desakkan sosial. The couple is not in hurry to be parents, but they vowed to the public pressure and demand. They are parents but they dont know why they are having children?

(day by day my tolerance towards marriage, relationship, and family building is getting thinner)

Yeah, I am tired with "anak pengikat kasih sayang suami isteri" phrase. They are terikat, but there is no guarantee they are tied in the name of love. May be they are terikat base on "I cant raise this baby alone hey he/she is yours too".
.....................

Porn

So if you are porn watching adult, handle it like an adult.

As for kids (18 and below), you are stupid. You know you are. Just prepare yourself for it. It is everywhere.

.......................

I am an adult.

At least adult enough.

And sometimes all I can say is celaka, jahanam, sial, bangsat, fuck, fuck, fuck, and celaka again just to feel some relief.

Because I am an adult. I can say profanity. It is a privilege.

Just like porn, actual sex, and alcohol.

Now I am confused between right and privilege. Beside I am also confused the pronunciation of "coke" and "cock". May be I better replace the word cock with dick next time.

p/s: click here. I like It.


Thursday, March 25, 2010

I am not a love Guru. But I know how to feel it.

Dear VJ,

Sudah baca artikel tu. Terima Kasih. Since I am in mengadu mode tonight (err orang bujang memang mengadu dengan blog), I will write the review later. By the way, some contents in the article do give me few punches on my ribs. But no upper cut. Yet. Baca pun seimbas lalu kan...

Wanita memerlukan lelaki. To fix her car.

Regards,
Jlascanteen.


p/s: This entry will be updated later, to read the full article click here.



A very long eating my heart out entry

Hari ini macam biasa, not everything went wrong, not everything went right. Macam biasa lah kan.

Berjimba2 sambil buat amal jariah. I more or less helped friends monitoring the lab session for students. Nobody forced or asked me to do so, I did because I wanted to and because I always enjoy scavenging green horns during their lab session because they usually come to the lab without any preparation or worse, like they never learned one single hell about what they are going to do in lab. I love sharing one thing or two about taxonomy or at least biodiversity with those who are willing to know and care enough to ask (the right question). Beside this blog, I dont have much space or many people to share my interest in taxonomy and biodiversity with.

A student was confused between fern and angiosperm. And studying morphology of plant is obviously giving constant kick on their ass. Most of them are clueless, it is fair if I say they hate the subject. When I was doing bachelor, I memorized as many as characteristics of leaf, leaf apex, flower I could. My lecturer put freshly collected specimens to be observed and identified for our mid term test, not picture, not drawing but fresh specimens. I was menggeletar before the test, as I was afraid I couldnt remember the endless list of species and its characters. But I passed, so did my peers. See? it is not that hard, they just need to put some effort (some, sometimes means A LOT) and heart to study the basic morphology.

To be fair, in my case, I liked what I studied.

Those student are in their second year. They look very confused, aimless and worse terpaksa for the sake of B.Sc. They still do not know what they suppose to know. The system is not helping either, I personally think the current syllabus of the program is chocking students alive. But on lighter tone, for second year bachelor, it is never to late to learn, never to late to like.

And of course it is never to late to take a different way and start from zero square all over again. I am not kidding, please dont shove the thing you dont even want into your throat. Isnt it enough others shove those stuffs into you?

I do pitty them sometimes.
.............

Bila makin tua, makin suka mengenang masa2 lalu. Ni aku nak kenang masa lalu lah ni. Masa ukm dulu, cikgu inggeris semester pertama tahun pertama aku seorang yang suka bercerita masa kelas. Dia akan bercerita2 dalam masa 2-3 hours, and of course at the same time we were discussing about our lesson of the day. Actually she told us more about general subject than about English for Science and Technology.

From the way she talks I know, she reads a lot. She told us, she learned Hebrew when she was in college, she is an English major . And I remember she mentioned her favourite subject when she was in school was geography. Her topics were ranging from vocab enrichment to HIV to current issue in Palestine, what happened in Chechenya, politics, Soekarno, Soeharto, location of Andaman sea, how beautiful Turkish girl is, little sneak peak of her personal life, and the bad attitude of teller at nearby bank .

And since I was a closeted geography fan, she was my match. (Yes, between 13-15 my favourite subjects were history and geography, like most of you who choose science, my formal geography lesson stopped at age of 15).

Bila dia bercerita, aku mesti beri perhatian. Jarang sekali aku mengantuk dalam kelas. I guess, since she knew all of us would at least pass the paper, so dia lebih kepada bincang2 santai, dan relate2 dengan hal ehwal mak nenek yang berlaku di muka bumi.

And I knew the guys in the class didnt really enjoy these cerita lipurlaras. Guys always have trouble to listen right? They have very good pair of ears, but to listen to talking female is a gauntlet to them. right guys?

And the blissful of ignorance had no room in her class. ignorant would feel stupid instead.

Dia asyik nasihat kami, be aware of our environment. Think, read, think, and read more. She was constantly telling us to read more.

Lepas habis semester, hujung2 dah nak final, we salam her. Because she gave us more than just regular English for Science and Technology class.

Dia nasihat, jadi lah penyibuk, bukan penyibuk pasal siapa kawin siapa di hollywood, kisah seluar dalam artis. Tapi jadi penyibuk yang curious, yang ingin tahu what is what, nak menambah ilmu pengetahuan, dan seterusnya mengelak menjadi stupid ignorant.

I abhor ignorant and ignorance. Only ignorant would say ignorance is a bliss.

I thank my first year english teacher in ukm for told me to read more.

Masa buat final semester my mentor told me a valuable advice, an advice that reminds you to value yourself.

and what went wrong today reminds me about the advice. Lebih kurang dia cakap...

"final year project ni ada 2 benda saja orang kira, hang punya tesis dan masa hang viva (performance during viva voce), hang buat lab siang malam, ikat kaki, ikat tangan kat meja pun, itu orang tak nak tanya, tak nak tahu yang penting tesis dan masa viva"

so inti pati yang aku faham dari kata2 guru aku ni, ialah be smart when you are working. kalau aku ambil secara literally, the most important thing in doing research is not the journey, how you make it, it is how you present it. Ialah macamana kau tulis tesis itu lah yang akan diadili, people wont give you credit for your jerit perih, sengkang mata, hati berdebar2, tidur terganggu. People want to see the end product and how you present and justify it.

Untuk pengalaman, ya, journey the making of tu yang paling banyak mengajar. And it is cannot be bought. But to survive the whole battle, you need to value yourself. sebab heartache mungkin bukannya datang pada masa sekarang, tapi pada kemudian masa.

In this business, nobody will give you credit for the best effort. Effort doesnt really count in grading, if it does, well it is not the major part.

And this is why I am delaying to do whatever left in my lab.********Deleted Item************

I dont know for what purpose that comment was given. But it was totally lack of credible, or may be laced with envy. Yes I did take such comment negatively, because sound so.

Hell no, the fate of my master have submitted to the hand of committee in form of inches thick properly binded sheets. I have harvested the data from my specimens. What left in the lab, I consider as technical part. A professor said to me, administration huh? it is boring?. Yes, whatever left in the lab is administration business, those who run the collection should process the specimen, I am just the collector not the curator.

collector collects, curator curates.

by right I have no formal obligation to those collections anymore. It is put under the care of the museum. I have harvested my data. I think I give enough to them. Tiada istilah pro bono terpaksa, itu namanya unpaid labour. I paid quite handsome amount of money to use all facilities, of which I dont have full access to because of damn bureaucracy and tonnes of egos. I am still a registered student, but they even take back my mail box pre maturely. No I dont really need the stupid pigeon hole, but I am entitled to that facility.

pigeon hole 37 is mine. Yes, I need to mark my territory. I am tired being bullied.

To those who are still in dark, I am telling you, I am more than you think I am, I can blow underbelt punch if I want to and get away with it.

I try to make peace with everything I have right now. With the consequences and all.

The truth is, whenever I sit in front of the computer and typing the lamest inventory and do those admin jobs, I feel hell miserable, I just cant wait to go out, I find excuses, I create excuses for not doing the thing.

First of all, I am unpaid for the admin job. And actually there are people for that job. Just they also find very good excuses to not doing the job. Everyone is avoiding the job. And it fall right on my lap. And why cant I get away from it? because they created another excuses, so I am obliged to do the most avoided job for damn fucking free.

Fuck you, the system is for human, not human are for the system. I know there are rules. But in this case, we are not talking about rules. You know it, I know it.

And if you force me with your vague rules. I promise I will ruin your life and your children's too.

I asked for funding once, and they dont bother to stamp my application, let alone to approve it. Because of fucking rules. I never ask for funding ever again. I have lost track how many times I talked about this thing. But nobody have problem to bend the rules so they can sanction they act of using and abusing facilities for personal purpose.

I have it enough. With those rules, bullshits, bullies, and all craps that worth almost RM4000 per semester, RM8000 per annum.

I am asking for my freedom. If you have the money to hire people to do the admin job, pay someone to do it. I will if I have extra money.

I am on a right track to live a real life. I am separating myself from post grad life. Gradually. But every time I want to out they pull me back in (quote from the Godfather). Thats why I joined Silat, so I can mingle with other people, step out of the circle of post grad life. Gradually. It is not like I am abandoning everything, just I want to move on with my real life.

To whom who may concern, dont hold me back just because you are still stuck in it or worse sucked into its deepest dark core.

Just let me free.

Kelas ke-3

Latihan berjalan dengan baik, walaupun hujan, Alhamdulillah. Tempat latihan diubah ke Kompleks Sukan.

Steps are getting more complex than before, but not that hard. I managed to pick them up slowly. My pace is fair enough, since I am female, and my fellow silat members are mostly pretty much younger than me. Yes, I have gained weight since I graduated. So I am lacking of stamina here, I am gasping for air after 5 minutes of regular warm up. The bending part is the hardest, because I have myabdomenisnotsoflatanymore symptom.

We learned, "buah gayung fatani" and "buah sendeng atas" or so they are called. Perfectly berterabur, especially buah sendeng atas. but I think, we finally get our change to counter attack (in Silat Cekak Hanafi, all basic buahs or steps are for defensive mode, so you need to be attacked first, before buka buah).

Err.. one senior was quite snobbish last night. I know our steps were berterabur. But no need to push us that hard or showed that attitude. may be he was just geram, because we took quite some times to pick up those steps.

so sudah ada timbul sakit2 as we grabbed, slapped (hard) each others' arms, softly elbowed each others' ribs, or may be tersasul penumbuk ke dagu kawan. sorry lah sparring partner, kau punya grab pun bisa juga ok. I slapped your arms hard, (and you grabbed my arms as hard). afterall the abang senior said slapped harder sampai ada bunyi the slapping sound. So I slapped lah. And my left heel is cracked, since we practiced with barefoot last night. Aku gelek punya gelek.. as expected.. memang kasar tapak kaki. Tadi kelam kabut selongkar minyak2 or losyen2, but I dont have any suitable lotion or oil (Bimbonya aku...hahaha). Besok lah beli losyen murah2.

Now I can feel the commitment in silat. There are problems, especially time. I have time. Plenty of time. Cuma selalu berpindah randah lately, sampai barang tertinggal sana sini. ok ini sudah cerita lain.
(aisey.. kenapa aku taip hingglish ni?... Tertulis, lalu terabur lah kan)

p/s: Silat aku buat separate entry. banyak lagi aku mau tulis ni



Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Sherlock vs Solomon: The review.

I am sooo in mood to watch movies this week. Earlier I watched Sherlock Holmes. Of which I gave B+ (Yeah, I think I better start rating movie by grade, like paper).

It was fun, it was more or less classic. Now everyone can see how investigation was made during pre-crime lab era (no thanks to CSI, they are err.. bastardizing DNA tech. It is uncommon to hold a slide at pectoral or face level and the cast in CSI New York did it all the time)

Sherlock holmes meleret a bit. I almost fell asleep. Since I love periodical movie (periodical movie for me is movie yang dibuat dengan settting masa dahulu). And Jude Law, haha.. I like Jude Law with mustache.

And... at the ending, the scene of the body of Lord Blackwood was hanging at the under construction London Bridge, reminded me about an episode in CSI: Miami. The episode about college kids, movie maker, and they found a body hanged under the jambatan angkat.

Earlier today, I watched Solomon Kane and it was uberly predictable. Just like Max Payne movie.

Oh Hati Ku Hampa Solomon Kane. (You let me down, Solomon Kane).

It is nothing new, just like any others mediocre medieval movies, May be if you like Pathfinder you will like this one. But do not expect it is some kind like Lord of The Ring movies. NOT. EVEN. CLOSE.

It was suck (worse than my English). I almost fell asleep, as I went to cinema alone, on tuesday, I think less than 10 people were watching, me included.

And the Solomon Kane character speaks like he was munching his own words. And who is the actor?

But on good notes, I like history. So castle in England, the landlord, knight on horse, I like them all. The scenery near the land of Kane is beautiful.

grade for Solomon Kane? C.

Bila lah mau sampai England ni...

Looking foward to watch The Hurt Locker. may be this weekend. (iya.. tiada di panggung, so faham2 lah sumber aku ya).

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Bad Romen.

Oh please, when in public call/refer your boyfriend or significant other by his first name. At least try.

It is fucking confusing. Generic translation for Abang is brother. If you are talking about your Abang is fathered your children, well, some people may think you two committed incest.

And B, sayang, papa, and who knows what else.. they are confusing, B is stand for what? his initial? Sayang? well, this one is less confusing but the most annoying, when it is abusively used in public, Papa? same case with Abang, but twice confusing.

Referring boyfriend by his initial is cute if it is done in text. And if you are a cute. What is cute on Megan Fox is not necessarily looks cute on you too. Get it?

I know nicknaming is fun. But please call or use your cute nicknames on your bed, in your bedroom, at home, behind tightly locked door.

And guys, do you know certain cute nicknames make you sound like a fag. You dont want your girlfriend has a fag as boyfriend do you?

Spelling for sayang is S.A.Y.A.N.G. Not cayang, not cayunk, not chayunk. For goodness, please spell like an adult. If you are adult enough to fucking, then you are adult enough to spell it right.

In Facebook, use the chat app. or private message to exchange steamy or romantic comments/reply/message/testimonial. Because if not it will appear on everyone's newsfeed and email. If you are so in love why dont you logout your facebook and start fucking for real.

I dont care how you enjoy/do your love romance in private. But in public and facebook, I do care. Public display of affection is sooooooooo 2006.

Finally, kiss on forehead is really a turn off. I hate it. Especially after nikah, Baik jangan langsung.

Ahhh... Tuesday

Since recently I have vented sort of harsh opinion on "relationship and family value". I think I need to tune it down a bit.

Well, I was stalking as usual. I clicked the numerous links in Facebook. Yes, Facebook makes stalking much easier. I found quite a lot of people of my age are married or getting married. They are brave people. Brave enough to shoulder responsibilities as a married person.

By the way, nothing wrong about it.

Actually the story of invasive fish species in America is still bothering me. I want to discuss it. Err.. sort of. Nothing biggie about this. But, may be it is good if I can talk or discuss about this ikan toman's story with someone who actually cares. Cares about the topic- invasive species.

And lately, there are plenty of forest fires. Bushes are charred, accidentally or not. Landscapes turned into yellow to brown to black. Big trees, small trees, shrubs, grasses, and everything in it burned into ashes. Fog is the air that we breath. Dry spell is part of nature. About a year ago, I wrote a full page of essay or text about habitat disturbance. I still keep the essay, the original draft.

May be I'll share the essay later, in this blog or with someone who cares in future. No one really has read my essay, except me and my lecturer. Yes, the one who popped the question of habitat disturbance and I answered his question in text. I liked the question, I read three books or so to answer the questions. I still like them both, the question and the essay.

I want to talk about how the pioneer species re-colonized the disturbed forest. The effect of disturbance on species diversity. Etc. Etc. I am not ecologist, I only studied ecology in general. I want to study more about it. And now, is the perfect time to observe the changing environment. The formation process of bushes, forests, etc etc.

It's been a while since the last time I actually talk about bio-related topic. I talked more or less about chemistry recently. But not much. I dont think my former coursemates from Old Campus want to talk about invasive species, ecological disturbance, or something alike anymore. They are busy getting engaged, getting married. Some of them even put some effort to separate themselves apart from boring real discussions of biology, the very field they studied for three
years.

Nobody cares about how do you feel about it. To quote a friend. Or so call friend.

Apart from invasive species and habitat disturbance, I want to talk about the documentaries I watched on History Channel. In other words, I want to talk about histories.

Just like the invasive species topic, nobody cares about it. Btw, who is talking about Sino-Japanese war while having ordinary lunch at ordinary dine on ordinary weekday? I cant do that, even if I want to. It is bad for perception or marketing. I am almost certain, I will have my lunch alone for few weeks if I start talking about world war 2 on lunch table.

Nobody will go for a second date with you if you are talking about taxonomy of primates on your first date. Of course there is exception,you have a good chance to go for a second date if your date is a primates taxonomist. But nobody wants to read research paper before out for a date right?.

We, scientist or so we are called, are pretty normal, we blog, we watch movie, we eat, we breath just like a postman, just like a teacher, just like a taxi driver. We are normal. We are mortal. Just sometimes, we insert scientific related issues in our small talk and become passionate about it and eventually kill the ordinary conversation. Forgive us for that. or Forgive me for that.

It is good to have someone to talk about everything that you like and listen to him/her while he/she talks about everything that he/she likes.

Two way communication? may be.

P/s: with Mr. B, I can afford to be stupid, pseudo-right, or whatever. I can always count on Mr. B.

Monday, March 22, 2010

When all I can say is Maki.

Ahhh.... asyik marah dan maki saja entry post aku baru2 ni. Mari kita cerita pasal lain2.

Minggu lepas aku menjadi seorang nomad. Tak tentu hala, katil bertukar2, rumah bertukar2. Terasa seperti aku ialah George Clooney dalam up in the air. Bezanya aku perempuan, tidak bekerja, tidak naik kapal terbang. Banyak bezanya bukan?.

Akhirnya aku marah. Asal marah, upload marah dalam blog.

Bila di rumah, sudah tentu aku tonton TV. Dalam banyak2 rancangan yang aku tonton ialah cerita pasal spesies pemusnah di Amerika utara. Spesies ini ialah ikan toman, atau nama saintifiknya Channa sp.

Banyak lah spesies2 ikan toman ni. Maka terjawab lah persoalan perbincangan aku dan rakan dalam Facebook, Puntius bulu bukan nama saintifik untuk ikan toman.

ok, kembali kepada isi kandungan. Memandangkan orang Amerika agak entah apa2, atau dalam perkataan lain, think the world is revolving around them. Maka mereka hairan, pelik, terkejut, terkesima, dengan rupa paras, saiz, dan tabiat pemangsa si ikan toman berkenaan.

sesuai tabiat pemangsa, ikan toman telah memakan spesies ikan tempatan atau ikan native di Amerika. Maka saintis dan pihak perikanan di Amerika pun kecoh lah. Nak2 lagi rupa ikan toman yang agak pre-historic itu.

Selidik2 rupanya ikan toman tu terlepas ke wild kerana seorang Asian telah melepaskannya kerana tak jadi nak buat sup ikan toman. Tapi sudah terlambat untuk menghentikannya, kerana ikan toman telah berkembang biak di sungai2 Amerika. Tapi mereka masih berusaha memburu ikan toman ni lah.

Kecoh kan orang Amerika, Ikan toman pun nak buat dokumentari.

Ditunjukkan juga dalam dokumentari itu ikan toman di Thailand, panjang 1-2 meter, gigi tajam, pemangsa licik dan tangkas, dan karnivor.

Aku pernah tengok ikan toman masa aku pergi field work di tasik chini, Pahang. Memang gigi dia tajam. Tapi ikan toman yang aku tengok tu tak ada lah besar sangat. Sedang2, sesuai nak goreng masuk dalam kuali. Ada lagi species ikan lain, tapi aku cuma ingat Toman dengan Puntius bulu itu sahaja.

Nak dijadikan cerita aku sekarang ni mengapply2 job. Tiba2 aku terkaitkan dengan kisah aku mengapply2 job ni dengan cerita Ikan toman menjajah sungai di Amerika dan memakan spesies ikan tempatan.

Tak apa lah, May be I have no balls, but I am not pengecut. Apply saja lah. Mana tahu rezeki kan.

Aku tak lah desperate nak bekerja. Just I hate to lose. Esok, masih banyak tugas yang perlu aku buat. Selesai tugas2 itu esok, I am off for movie. Yeah... lama sudah tidak tinguk wayang.

Last night, aku tengok Sherlock Holmes. Nanti2 lah aku buat review. Dan wayang The Chamber, adaptasi dari buku yang sedang aku baca akan ditayangkan di AXN pada malam esok.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Uploading Anger

Kalau aku tulis post ini sejam yang lalu... pergh.. lebih sensored kot.

Ok, anggap lah ni sequel dari post sebelum ini, ala yang aku tulis dengan english berterabur tu.

Korang sedar tak semakin hari semakin ramai yang menjadi makhluk yang aku namakan sebagai Lelaki Tak Guna Makan Hasil Bini Nafsu Macam Jantan Perangai Macam Pondan (LTGMHBNMJPMP) atau selepas ini akan dirujuk sebagai Asshole.

Ini ku punya pet peeve. Jangan lah Asshole ni nak cross cari gaduh dengan aku, etc etc etc.. memang koyak rabak kau aku maki dan memalukan.

Wanita pula, sebagai insan yang lemah kerap juga menjadi mangsa Asshole ni. By marrying the asshole this insan yang lemah akan berterus-terusan mengizinkan diri sendiri menjadi mangsa, dan the asshole pula akan mengajar his junior how to threat your woman so badly with guilty free privileges. Fuck Them.

Eh perempuan... berhenti lah jadi bodoh. Dari kau perabis duit dengan asshole ni, lepas tu beranak kan anak berbapa kan asshole, yang mulut dia dan mulut anak korang kau pun yang nak tanggung. BAIK JANGAN BERLAKI.

Asshole ni memang dah nama pun self explanatory (eh.. betul kah aku eja?). Biasanya Gaji mereka di bawah RM 3000. Biasanya kerja kerajaan. Atau ringkas cerita makan gaji lah. Tapi nafsu macam jantan. Perangai macam pondan.

Gaji sudah lah sikit (ya lelaki, duit gaji kau tu bukan banyak mana pun siyalll...Sedar diri Haram!) tapi tak perasan diri miskin, hidup menumpang, makan disuap bini. Nafsu macam2... yang paling glemer untuk dibeli oleh Asshole miskin haram jaddddah makan duit bini ini ialah, modified kereta.

Bangsat, Dah tau kau pakai jenama tempatan (proton/produa). Kau nak kasi spoiler tahap renault, bmw, sport car semua pun bukannya ada fungsi. Ni semua orang tak ambil fizik kat sekolah ni. Itu lah... mereka ni sejak sekolah lagi sudah menampakkan ciri2 Asshole in future. Jenis yang merapu raban pergi sekolah. cakap besar, perasan pandai.. muka siyal, perasan kuat. tapi No Balls pengecut, sudah tua hidup beranak pinak tinggal dengan mertua atau mak bapak.

Aku ni kadang2 agak makcik2 dalam judging orang ni. Aku tilik2 seimbas lalu, google 2-3 kali, aku stereotyping,Senang cepat tak berbahaya. Dalam discriminate asshole ni senang, korang tengok history masa sekolah dia. Yang mediocre selalunya akan berkecenderungan menjadi asshole (asshole mengikut tafsiran cerita ini lah, ada juga asshole jenis tafsiran lain).

Suprisingly, ramai juga asshole yang pekerjaannya guru. Ada pula guru2 yang sibuk tekel dan kawin dengan murid. Ini lah contoh salah satu asshole yang aku maksudkan. ala.. dia tayang pay slip dia yang hampir2 3 ribu tu, pakai kancil tinted modified sampai nak hancur kereta. meleleh lah budak 16 tahun tu.

Lepas 5 tahun kawin, with 2 children or more. This kind of asshole masih merempat di rumah mertua, masih tumpang drive kereta mertua. Nak provide roof for wife and kids pun tak mampu. so apa point gaji kau sampai 3 ribu tu pondannnnnn... habis kat mana? sport rim? atau DIY tinted? atau kereta seken hand, yang later kau chopped jadi kereta drift penjual tauhu?

Aku tak rasa bersalah nak kutuk orang macam ni. Memang perangai macam pondan. Kalau betul kau Jantan, jangan jadi Jantan yang pandai memantat saja. jangan jadi Jantan sekadar pakai necktie baju kemeja opis pine strip. Pergi cari tempat berteduh dulu baru lepas tu kau membiak. Bukan membiak tak henti2 dulu lepas tu masih tak sedar diri nak cari rumah untuk anak bini.

Ada pula jenis asshole duit tak pernah cukup. Entah dimana dia flush duit dia pun dia tak tahu. Tup tup gaji tak cukup. Ini lagi pondan.. patut his penis inserted into his own ass. Asshole jenis ini juga, selalunya gaji around RM3000 dan ke bawah.

Bila gaji tak cukup siapa yang bail out. Opkoz duit bini yang dia lantak. Dia melantak duit bini mengalahkan gay melantak asshole. Sudah berbini beranak tapi finance management macam cirit. Bodoh, nak mampos. Itu lah dulu waktu sekolah, orang jenis ni jenis yang berlagak berduit. Orang pergi kelabing, kau pun ikut kelabing. Semua kawan kau semua anak orang kaya. Anak taukey kaya, sekolah kau lah yang paling mewah. Masa waktu sekolah iyalah mak bapak tanggung. Bila sudah berbini pun mengharap duit mak bapak. Mengharap duit bini. Siyall lah kau, bagus cirit dan makan cirit kau sendiri.

Asshole yang gaji tak pernah cukup ni, biasa juga terlibat dalam aktiviti MLM, investment bodoh bangang macam monyet, pembelian barangan tak guna bodoh secara pukal tiap2 bulan seperti gadget2 trendy dan barangan yang memang mahal tapi tidak perlu untuk seorang bergaji di bawah RM 5000. Bila nak kawin, konon2 boleh rolling banyak2 dalam skim cepat miskin itu dan ini. Last2 pakai duit loan bank juga kau kawin, pakai duit mak bapak juga buat kenduri. Owh.. kenduri nak standard. Macam haram lahanat. Sudah lah miskin, berlagak siyall haram keparat.

Lepas kawin pun duit tak pernah cukup. Lepas tu melantak duit bini. Haram jaddah keparat siyall bagus kau kambus diri sendiri dalam lubang kubur.

Lepas beranak, bini juga yang bail out pampers anak, susu anak... ah korang memang bodoh.

Yang bini Asshole ni pun sama keparat bodoh. yang korang kawin dengan asshole ni Waddajaddahnya. Eh perempuan kau pun satu, sekolah pun belum abis nak memantat juga. jahanam lah kau. apa kau ingat cinta kau tu boleh merobah seekor asshole.

Asshole dahulu, Asshole sekarang. padan muka kau.... bodoh berganda2..

Now, enjoy an asshole as a father for your kids.... eeii... diri sendiri pun paras hidung, ada hati nak beranak ramai. Lepas tu menyusahkan mak bapak. sudah lah Asshole kau tu tak mampu nak sediakan rumah. Korang merempat lah hidup anak beranak.

Tolong lah sedar2 diri.. kalau agak2 gaji kau tu nak beri makan anak bini pun tak berapa nak cukup. Jangan lah jadi seekor keldai mengikut nafsu dengan membeli barangan bodoh tak berguna haram jaddah punya mahal secara pukal. MISKIN BUAT CARA MISKIN. Bangang!.

dan take note, please take note. Dari kau meperabis duit gaji yang memang tak sebanyak mana tu buat beli sport rim, kasut mahal, henpon mahal, gadget mahal, baik kau kumpul buat duit sewa rumah atau beli rumah.. yes in other words Sila BERAMBUS tinggal dirumah sendiri bila sudah bersedia nak membiak.

Ciao~

p/s: I am angry and purposely make others feel the same too.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

My laptop and Firefox are slow phukers

Well, kids and marriage. I am certainly not in a right position to write about this. I am single and I have no child.

Anyway, I am not anti marriage. I hate wedding but not marriage. And also I dont hate kid and married people in general, I am not anti-parents. I am not marriage Nazi.

In my three previous postings I was ranting about how much I hate-HATE wedding, my different point of view on Ibu Mertuaku's Nyonya Mansor, and my hatred toward screaming, jumping kids at food joint and their parents.

What I can conclude from my three postings is I am against bad decisions. Especially decisions that involved kids and family. You may screwed your life as you want, but making a bad decision as a parent is totally no no no.

A bad decision in marriage usually will lead to a very very serious domino effect.

For example, The bride wants a very over the top lavish wedding, The groom cannot afford the very expensive wang hantaran. Therefore he loans from bank to give enough hantaran for his bride. Then they have like very colourful 3 days and 2 nights wedding for 2 weekends. Usually the groom wont able to repay the loan until their first born goes to kindergarten. See? 2 weekends are more than enough for them screwed their own financial.

Oh no.. thats not enough bad decision for them, they then decide to have more and more children. Yes, I guess some people are just addicted to problems.

Hidup tanpa masalah macam makan nasi lemak tiada sambal. Hidup penuh dengan masalah macam makan sambal tanpa nasi. But may be, some people out there just addicted to sambal without nasi. Sedap? Pedas? Nak lagi? sampai upset perut.

Sabariyah made bad decision by marrying Kassim. Kassim made plenty of bad decisions, from judi lumba kuda to menangis sampai buta to poke his newly operated blind eyes with culinary.

And me, made bad decision for not tapau mc D balik makan di bilik.

I am 25 this year. Along the way I know a grown ass woman who produced 2 bastards in row. Yes, this slut never learned how to use condom and birth control pill properly whenever she decided to fornicating or committing adultery. Yes, I am talking about real people here.

Now she has 2 bastards. Not just her life is afflicted by having 2 bastards, but others' too. Her mother's, her family's, her 2 bastards'. And these bastards have different fathers. Both fathers dont give a damn about the end product of their sperms. To rub some vinegar to the open wound is she is a jobless with minimum skill.

I have a friend who was married, with child, and then divorce, re-married to another man by her parents. But, she was pregnant on her wedding day, the then husband was suspected fathered the baby, and she kept silent about it, until it was beyond repair. I confused. Well... who didnt? It was beyond repair since the beginning.

A former schoolmate now is in the middle of court battle with his wife over custody on their child and alimony mambo jumbo. Because he was caught cheated his wife.

And countless story of out of wedlock sex, unwanted pregnancy, fornication, adultery, asshole husbands, slutty women, etc.. etc..

These adults screwed their life. Fine. But when they are screwing their offsprings' life too than that is unfair.

not everyone can be parents.

Having kids is a serious full time job, 24-7 for at least 18 years. 9 months or so of pregnancy is may be about low back pain, raging hormone, heart burn, etc etc etc.. the painful (and joyful) during pregnancy is only lasted for 9 months or so... It is a big-BIG- responsibility tapi tanggunggjawab selepas the birth is something lasted for selagi hayat dikandung badan.

People always said the phrase "melayari bahtera rumahtangga". And guess what, this ship has no compas, has no handbook manual, and there is no school or kursus kahwin will able to equip you to sail the bahtera rumahtangga. And you cannot just simply refer to study case to solve problems in marriage.

Yes, it is that complicated. If you want to. It is too can be simplified. if you want to.

Marriage and family building can be the most beautiful thing or experience one can enjoy. It is beautiful, if you can make it beautiful. But something beautiful usually demand lot of pengorbanan. Make sure it is worthy.

Being parent is far more complicated. I have seen lot of parents who have very high expectation on their kids. well... biasalah tu.

Some of them demand their children to fulfill their unfulfilled dream. They use their children for their own satisfaction. The boundary between hope and demand is sometimes very vague. Every parents lay hope on their kids.

One of reason why I doubt to reproduce is because I am afraid. I am afraid it is all about me. I am afraid I want my child to give me what I want. What I want he/she to become, about he/she lives up my dream for me. I am afraid I screw my kid's life by demanding achievements.

I am afraid of having child for wrong reason. I am afraid of getting married for wrong reason. Because I am getting older, because I am afraid being old and alone, because I have to vow to public demand that constantly expect every woman should get married and making babies (as well as cooking, etc etc..). These dont sound right to me.

Am I selfish for avoiding the probability of me become a demanding parent?. yes, flipping to the other side, may be there is equal probability of me become a not demanding parents.

Ho: jlacanteen is a demanding parent.
H1: jlascanteen is a not demanding parent.

yes, we cannot test the hypothesis, unless I reproduce. Which if I do, the effect is irreversible nor can I return to my innocence state. And if the Ho is accepted, what will happen to the kid?

I dont know what is the right justification for me to get married and have children. I dont have any. I dont know what is the right reason. At least for now.

But I am certain about one thing, I dont want to involve in both (married and parenting) because of wrong reason.

Kids may be the best of burden. But the best is not for everyone.

I abhor those who threat their kids as personal trophies of their fertility and those who consider the successful product of their sperm is not more than unfortunate event of broken condom. Remember the best is not for everyone.

So what is my aim in this life? for now... I want a little comfort place for me to live, good health, and whatever good for my love ones. So far so ok.. can be better. much better.

I already have family. I am happy with this one. I have no plan to expand my family (I dont know about their plan, but adding more family member(s) is certainly not in my book). This one is just nice or already too many to handle.




Kelas pertama

Alhamdulillah, tadi sudah bermula pengajian silat pertama. Langkah2 asas sudah ditunjuk ajar. Banyak kepada balance, latihan tangan, latihan kaki.

Dalam list nama junior tu, paling tua ialah aku kot. Sebab IC start no 85, paling tua selain aku, IC start no 88, ada yang IC no 90. Perghh...

Pengajar pun ok. Ajar step by step. Beliau juga ada tunjuk 4 jenis tumbukan dalam silat melayu, 1) Tebar Jala (from the side), Julang Bintang (Hook/Upper cut) which is my favourite even kalau dalam boxing atau muay thai, Musang Terjun, Tumbukan Jantan (from the front) which we learned tonight. Dan silat yang aku join cuma pakai Tumbukan Jantan.

Baru aku tahu silat yang aku join ni ialah jenis defense. Banyak juga ilmu2 yang didapati tadi, Alhamdulillah. Semoga pengajian sentiasa diberkati Allah SWT.

Basicly ini adalah untuk mempertahankan diri, lebih kepada refleks, sense, dan speed.

siap ada belajar fizik lagi sikit tadi, daya impulse.

all in all, I like it.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

When really Angry. Swear.

Sometimes I am really angry. ANGRY.

When I am angry I often said something I regret later. Anyhow, I think my anger is correlated with carbohydarate/sugar level in my blood.

The lower my sugar level the angrier I become. I think. Thats why I hate screaming kids at Mc Donald Jalan Sulaman. Because usually whenever I go to the McD, I am really really hungry. I feel like I want to eat them alive in front of their burger munching parents. So, this is enough to justify why I consider not to reproduce anytime soon.

I am an angry person especially when I am hungry. Food suppress my anger.

Whenever I am angry, feed me.

.....

Why everyone is so in hurry to reproduce? People around me want to reproduce so quickly and so badly as if the human race is facing the great extinction.

Some of my friends, my not yet married friends, are already counting how many kids they want. Are we really in need to reproduce? ahhhh....

Some parents are not satisfy with one kid. Even if their kid screws up their finance, they still want and try to have more and more babies. I just dont get it. Why? are you addicted to financial problems?

If you are struggling to provide for the welfare of one child, why bother having more children? Yeah, people said, baby brings rezeki. I know.

But lets get real.

Come on, these kind of parents are so greedy. They think the combination of their gene is the best for human race, and humankind is in need for their DNA carbon copy.

Kid needs money. Kid needs attention. More kids means more money needed, more attention needed.

Oh shit, parents, please... if you dont have much money, stop trying for having more babies. Condom or any birth control method is much much cheaper.

And newlywed, I pity newlywed all the time. Some parents expect their newlywed child and child in law to reproduce like 9 months after the wedding. Well, we know how unstable newlyweds usually are. They need to build a lot of relationships, attend more cousins' weddings, attend more birthdays, anniversaries, etc.. etc.. They need to equip themselves with proper financial, buying house, better retirement plan, better insurance scheme, etc etc...

So having baby for newlywed, certainly will add more responsibilities and pressures on them.

Btw, why vow for public pressure to have baby or more babies?

Ask yourself why do you want to have a baby? If your reason to reproduce is you dont want to be alone when you are old, then you are lame selfish person who stuck in 1930's. The fact is you still can be alone when you are old, even if you have 15 children. There is no guarantee that your offsprings will take care the old you. Dont trust me?, well.. go and google the story of Shah Jahan. How he spent his final days. How he fell from his throne.

Having children is serious business. It is damn serious. You cant fuck up your life if you are a parent. Because it will fuck your kid's life up too.

Some parents should not have baby at the first place. And this including those parents who are busy munching their burgers and fries while their progenies are screaming, jumping, running, jackass-ing, at Mc D Jalan Sulaman.

I know, you can say that you can have as many kids as you want because I dont feed your kids, you feed your kids. So feed your kids, and allow me eat my burger in peace. Deal?

Sakit Gastrik

Celcom broadband macam haram.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Ibu Mertuaku - The other side of coin.

Suami, Isteri, dan Mak Mertua: Konspirasi Membersihkan Nama Nyonya Mansor.

Kamu mesti pernah tengok filem Ibu Mertuaku bukan? Dalam filem ini digambarkan bahawa ibu mertua Kassim Selamat, iaitu Nyonya Mansor ialah seorang mertua yang garang, jahat, bitch.

ok, now I am flipping the other side of coin.

Nyonya Mansor was a good mother, Kassim Selamat was a douchebag and pathetic husband, while Sabariyah was a naive stupid girl.

Nyonya Mansor disapproved Kassim and Sabariyah's love affair simply because, she cares about her daughter. After all, siapa yang mahu kahwinkan anak dengan pemuzik miskin, pendapatan tidak tetap, etc etc...

Kalau korang ada anak, sanggup kah korang biar anak korang yang bodoh buta cinta bla bla... pergi ikut lelaki miskin yang confirm2 akan menyebabkan anak korang hidup merempat?. Tapi dia ikutkan juga hati Sabariyah, kahwin kan juga anaknya dengan Kassim bukan? lepas nikah, kasi cash and Nyah kau dari sini pandai2 lah korang hidup.

Nyonya Mansor tak suka Kassim tu sebab dia sayangkan Sabariyah, taknak anak perempuannya hidup susah, miskin, hina. Kassim pun satu hal, taste tak alang2. High taste, nak orang kaya. Honest memang lah honest... tapi... agak2 lah beb.

Kassim dan Sabariyah took the cash, and started a married live. These two habiskan duit cash pemberian Nyonya Mansor dengan tinggal hotel dan main judi lumba kuda bukan. See? mana tak Nyonya Mansor benci mendidih dengan si Kassim ni, dia kasi duit untuk hidup, anak menantu sudah jadi hantu main judi lumba kuda.

Kalau korang lah ada anak menantu macam ni, adakah korang marah? makin sayang? rasa nak telan lepas tu berak flush dalam jamban? atau releks, biar kan... dah buang kan... lantak kau lah?

Kassim dan Sabariyah end up tinggal dibawah kolong atas ehsan Mamu (kalau aku tak silap ni dah scene di Penang bukan?). Tengok, ambil teladan dari kes Sabariyah ni, dia buang emak semata2 kerana cinta hati, tengok siapa yang merempat tinggal di bawah kolong? AND NYONYA MANSOR WAS RIGHT lah kan. Sebab tu dia benci tahap neraka tak nak bermenantukan si pemuzik miskin. Itu lah kalau Mak larang, Mak tak restu, Jangan lah. Kan kau dah merempat dibawah kolong.

Tapi orang kita kalau tengok movie ni terlalu apologetik dengan si Kassim ni. Well, apa yang korang nak apologetik dengan lelaki bangang douchebag, nak kasi tempat tinggal bini pun tak mampu, duit mertua dia habiskan buat modal main judi lumba kuda? Ini menantu yang korang terasa kesian? part mana patut dikesian kan? (EMO nya aku.....)

Owh, Kassim, sudah tahu kau miskin, yang kau perabis kan duit mertua buat judi lumba kuda apa hal? lepas tu semua penonton pakat2 benci Nyonya Mansor sebab tak hingin nak bermenantukan penjudi macam Kassim. Kalau korang ada anak, sanggup kah korang bermenantukan orang macam Kassim?

Nak dijadikan cerita Sabariyah termengandung. Nyonya Mansor datang juga jenguk anak dia. See? Hati mak kan... busuk2 pun anak, walau benci, kutip balik. Kesian dah lah mengandung, tinggal bawah kolong. Memang Nyonya nak menantu Lawyer, Majistret, supaya anak dia tak hidup susah. Dia nak anak dia hidup senang. Salah kah mak yang nak anak dia hidup senang?Kenyang sangat lah dengan cinta tu? kenyang? puas? ni dah mengandung, Mak yang kau buang ni juga datang balik kutip bawa balik (pergh aku tulis, macam Sabariyah tu anak aku pula.. tidak apa.. layan saja lah kan).

Kira ok lah, to be fair to the most kesian Kassim, dia ni kira tak selfish sangat lah, as he let go his pregnant wife to go back with her mother, for her well being and better welfare juga lah kan.

Tengok betapa ibu sayang kat anak dan cucu. Walaupun dah sah2 lah Nyonya Mansor murka dengan Kassim, lepas tu heret anak dia tinggal bawah kolong, tapi tetap kesian kan anak dan cucu, walaupun tu anak Kassim. Kutip juga bawa balik kan...

Ha Sabariyah.. tengok... cinta Kassim tu tak cukup nak dibuat modal untuk hidup. Nasib baik mak datang balik, jenguk, hangkut bawa balik rumah, kalau tak malnutrisi lah kau masa mengandung tinggal dibawah kolong. (ahh.. lagi sekali aku ternyonyamansorized).

Masa dah di rumah Nyonya Mansor, bila Sabariyah dah siap2 bersalin. Nyonya buat cerita lah kan.. supaya 2 ekor ni bercerai. Bukan lah baik bercerai berai ni. In her defense, Nyonya memang lah tak suka Kassim, dah ada peluang dia nak pisahkan 2 orang ni being an evil MIL herself, of course an antagonist like her will take her chance tak begitu? kalau tak, tak lah jadi cerita kan? tak lah korang kesian dengan si Kassim kan?

Ok, dah siap2 pisah (proses cerai tu kasi fast forward lah, ngabiskan roll filem lah kalau nak cover kes cerai berai orang ni) Nyonya kahwinkan Sabariyah dengan Dr. Ismady. Dah sah2 Dr. Ismady ni orang baik. Cinta punya pasal, mertua pun berkenan, dia jagakan juga anak si Kassim kan. Sabariyah ni pun dah berkanda dinda dengan Dr. Ismady. Kira setel lah. Boleh lah Nyonya Mansor lega, sebab anak sendiri pun dah teratur hidupnya.

While Sabariyah is kekanda-dinda-ing with Dr. Ismady, Kassim merana, menangis lah siang malam. Sampai jadi buta. Ohh... kat sini lah sebab korang kesian dengan dia kan?. Ok, Part ni aku pun kesian lah juga. Memang kesian pun.

On the bright sight, Anak dia dengan Sabariyah, mendapat kehidupan yang lebih selesa. still unfair juga? memang unfair pun. Apa dia nak komplen? Anak bini dia dihangkut oleh mak mertua?. Well, Kassim, bak kata Justin Timberlake, what goes around comes around, Ingat tak dulu kau took a daughter away from her mother? Memang lah niat kau nak buat bini... tapi Mak tetap Mak ok.

Moralnya, jangan lah buat kat orang apa yang kita tak nak orang lain buat dengan kita. ok? (ni aku nasihat diri sendiri juga ni).

Apa? Nyonya Mansor juga yang jahat? Memang betul pun. Tapi cuba korang ada anak macam Sabariyah tu? korang pun jadi Nyonya Mansor juga kot. Orang hantar belajar muzik (eh? aku lupa pula... apa kisah nya, macam mana mereka kenal eh?), dia keluar dating dengan lelaki sampai satu town tahu. Kau tak terasa nak hambat budak macam ni? Kena leter tu pun dah kira nasib baik tu.

In the end.. Nyonya Mansor juga yang jahat sebab dia punya plan, back up plan, plan B semua dah terkantoi. Yang maintain baik dalam cerita ni cuma lah Dr. Ismady. Dah lah dia jagakan anak Kassim, to be fair lepas ambil bini Kassim, dia ubatkan mata si Kassim. Tapi Kassim ni satu hal pula poke his eyes with culinary . Ala Kassim...... Terluka sangat lah kan hati kau... iya lah aku paham. Memang patut dikasihani lah part yang ni. Yang maintain bodoh dalam cerita ni ialah Sabariyah.

So, jahat2 Nyonya Mansor tu sebab sayangkan anak. Maka dengan ini saya berharap we can stop demonising Nyonya Mansor and Mother in Law in general. Mesti lah nature seorang ibu adalah protective terhadap anaknya kan. Kalau tak protective ni ibu katak atau penyu, lepas bertelur tinggal saja anak terkapai2 hidup sendiri.

Need to be cruel to be kind kata orang putih.

Dan kepada perempuan diluar sana (termasuk lah aku), kau nak pilih2 suami agak2 lah kan. Cinta tak cukup beb. Kalau kau rasa lelaki tu asshole dan berharap dia akan berubah satu masa nanti selepas kawin (asshole ni termasuklah yang jenis makan duit awek tak sudah2 ok), kau silap besar lah kot.

You cannot unasshole an asshole.

Cintai lah Ibu Bapa, sayangi lah anak anda, dan bravo Dr. Ismady.

-TAMMAT-







Friday, March 12, 2010

I hate wedding

Now I am browsing strangers' wedding photos. I love wedding photos. Yes, I can spend hours browsing wedding photos. Ironically I hate-HATE-wedding.

I was personally involved in preparation of two weddings. I fuck hate it. Bottom line is I think wedding is suck, time wasting, money wasting. What a big waste, and oh yes, again, I fuck hate it. In Malaysia, wedding is far too commercial. No thanks to Mawi and those lame ass celebrities who have no remorse commercializing their wedding day as if it is national holiday.

Eh, I said, I fuck hate wedding, not marriage. If you still confuse with the vague line between marriage and wedding, kiddos, you shall not get married.

Wedding is err.. an announcing ceremony, that these two people are about to officially have sex with each other, and the public should not feel offended with it. Ok, may be I am wrong, of course marriage is more than just sex, right?. But, I heard married people seldom have it. Is it true?

I like wedding if;

1. It is low key ceremony, attended by close family, relatives, next door neighbours and friends ONLY.

not everyone from your kampung, your spouse's kampung, your father's friends since pre independent era, your mother's schoolmates, your siblings' friends, your cousins' housemates, damn.. you dont even know half of your own guests.

2. It is a white wedding.

Damn (err.. again) I dont like if it is too colourful. Imagine a grown ass man dons in shockingly offensive magenta baju melayu, sampin, and tanjak on his wedding day, actually I pity him. I bet his bride would force him to wear magenta socks and magenta keris if she could find any. Or in toxic look purple, you gotta be kidding.

It is ok if white is too lame for your taste and you want to be unique bride (fuck you, you wannabe!), but please limit your option to soft colours or non offensive pastel colours. I think gold or yellow is good colour for traditional Malay wedding.Otherwise, please choose soft colour. And usually guy looks like a clown in all red tanjak, baju melayu, and sampin on his wedding day, can you imagine guy in all red tux?. Except if you are married to Johnny Depp, then choose whatever colour or colours you like, even if you choose to dress him in pink sampin with black tanjak and red baju melayu... go ahead, but you must married to Johnny Depp. I said, Johnny Depp, not Johnny Depp-look-alike, and Johnny Depp-wannabe is no no no.

And Brides? dont let me start with brides.... heavily beaded baju kurung complete with absurdly hanging crystals thingy, do make those brides look like they just come back from Mardi Grass or Rio de Janeiro Carnival.

And why PINK? is it a new black?

3. It is one day and night event.

Melayu wedding takes very long times, too many events. First, nikah ceremony, before hand may be majlis berinai, then reception ceremony on the bride's side, then upacara memotong kek, then majlis menyambut menantu on the groom's side, then separate reception/post wedding party for your colleagues who couldnt make it to your both earlier receptions. These all events could be extended up to two weeks. And took painful months to be prepared. Penat menyediakan majlis bertunang belum habis... then continue with majlis kahwin lama gila sial macam pesta konvo.

.........

Wedding should be simple. Plus you dont want to be exhausted or look exhausted on your own wedding day right?. Get some sleep, and simple wedding will also allow your family to get enough sleep for themselves. Trust me, they need it.

Hate Wedding.


Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Nasi Beriyani Ayam Masak Merah Tomato

Aku sudah masuk kelab silat. Semalam ada upacara akad asas (atau seumpamanya) di masjid. Tak sangka sangat serius. Aku tak ingat bila kali terakhir aku bersumpah dengan nama Allah. And I am sure last night was the first time I took such oath in a mosque.

I am not a religious person. Aku rasa dalam setahun boleh bilang sebelah tangan kekerapan aku ke Masjid. Bersumpah dengan nama Allah itu komitmen besar.Tapi aku berdebar2 masa baca akad asas tu. Ok ada unsur ekzejeret disini. Memang lah without the akad asas, I am still obliged to not derhaka kepada ibu bapa, guru.

And most of all, sekarang aku dalam sumpah supaya tidak mencaci silat melayu yang lain. to be frank, aku sort of tercaci yang lain sebelum aku angkat sumpah tu. Rakan sepesilatan aku tanya apasal aku macam nak menangis lepas akad tu.

pergh.. kau, aku lepas bersumpah dengan nama Allah. Of course aku yang punya iman setebal kulit bawang ini akan berasa cuak. Aku tak berapa berani nak bersumpah dengan nama Allah. Besar tanggungjawabnya tu, itu komitmen atas nama Tuhan. Takut aku.

apa pun, setakat ini ok lah. tiada apa2 yang pelik. Cuma tok-tok guru kasi amalan basic supaya coordination tangan dan kaki menjadi cekap (kot?). Nanti dia kasi sikit tip untuk amalan rohani, berupa sepotong ayat doa.

Aku cuma pakai tshirt dan seluar kargo (iya lah kan nak bersilat). Tapi rupanya semalam lebih kepada upacara rohani. Orang lain semua pakai baju kurung, baju melayu, siap ada yang pakai tudung lip lap, ada yang pakai sampin bersongkok. Bila aku call senior silat (muda dari aku, ntah2 IC start dengan 90), dia kata ok. orang pakai sopan tu sebab buat dalam Masjid.

So aku pun selamba, salam tangan Tok Guru (berlapik kain hitam), duduk atas kain putih. Lalu lafaz akad asas. Dengan lafaz akad itu kini aku boleh join kelas silat.

.....

Kelmarin siang, aku bawa balik sebuah novel yang aku terjumpa tersorok di dalam almari berdebu di dalam makmal. Aku tahu siapa empunya novel, sebab ada tulis nama. Tapi aku tak tahu kenapa novel dia ada di lab aku. Sebab dia punya lah tiada kaitan denga lab aku, lab dia nun di tingkat atas.

Tajuk novel, The Chamber. Penulis, John Grisham. Syok. belum habis baca. Tapi so far, aku suka. Baru aku tahu dia ni juga yang tulis A Time to Kill. wayang dengan tajuk ini aku suka sangat. Sudah tengok beberapa kali. I think, I was crying each time. pasal perkauman, legal battle, etc. etc... satu lagi karya dia The Client, ini pun aku tengok movie dia. Tapi I like A Time to Kill more.

Rupanya John Grisham ni seorang peguam. Bila aku baca novel tu baru dapat gambaran kesusahan hidup seorang peguam rookie yang bergaji USD 5000 sebulan, dan betapa mizerabel sibuk nya senior associate yang berumur 65 tahun dan tertimbus di bawah legal document di pejabat sendiri. Yang rookie pula busting their own balls, working long hours, sleep on the desk.. etc etc..

Pendek kata nak jadi certified lawyer ni bukan walk in the park. (ingatan untuk diri sendiri).

Aku ni bukan berapa minat dengan fiksyen ni. Tapi kalau ngam cerita, on juga lah. Oleh kerana aku tengah sibuk nak habiskan The Chamber secepat mungkin, sebab nak pulang kepada tuan punya. Maka put on hold lah ada 2 buah buku tu. salah satu nya aku beli 3 tahun yang lalu. Al maklom lah buku ala ala sejarah. Perit otak nak digestnya.

Aku nak juga try pembacaan yang lebih ringan. So by chance, atau luckily, aku terjumpa novel The Chamber itu. Nasib lah baik.

.......

Aku sekarang juga kegatalan nak belajar kimia organik semula. Sebab macam nak window shopping tajuk2 research yang sesuai dengan phytochemistry, lagi pun ada kenalan yang sedang wrestle with all those toxic substances di lab masing2, so boleh juga minta pandangan dan diskas dengan mereka.

setakat nak extract secondary metabolite tu mesti dorang tahu punya. kan?

Tapi macam biasa bila kau nak belajar sesuatu yang baru secara akademik, kata defaultnya ialah, "Mesti Banyak Membaca".

Kimia organik? boleh lah kot, tapi cikgu kena hensem.

p/s: I dont refer my boyfriends with their initial, I am not that cute. I nicknamed them instead.
p/s 2: Tajuk post ialah menu lunch aku hari ini, sempena jamuan kecil jabatan. Farewell and Welcome kepada yang berkenaan.

Friday, March 5, 2010

700

Digarhayu Pos ke-700.

reading again.

First of all, Celcom broadband service is disconnecting like, every 2 minutes.

Nothing interesting happened to me. And cash in my bank account is depleting faster than ever. Beside I am spending at least 4 hours per day stalking people in Facebook. Oh yes, 4 hours is understatement.

Good news, on thursday night of first week of March 2010, I finally finished reading Toto-Chan Gadis Cilik di Jendela. I bought this book in July 2009, during my first visit to Indonesia. Took about 9 months to finish a children book. I am slow reader. In fact, this is the first book I finished since err... I forgot when the last time I finished reading a book. I have few books to finish, will talk about them later.

I have known the existence of the book since I was in primary school. may be when I was 8 or 9. When I was in Indonesia for training, I found the book and bought it almost instantly. It is a translation version, from Japanese to Bahasa Indonesia. Of course I dont understand few words. But I think every parents should read this book, and teachers too.

If I am not mistaken, I also found Dan Brown's Angels and Demons novel translated to Bahasa Indonesia, Malaikat dan Iblis in the bookshop I went. Even National Geographic Magazine is in Indonesian. They also sold the English version of the magazine.

Today I bought a compilation of poems, at Harris. Actually, first saw the compilation at friend's house. It is good. Already read it, almost finish I guess, may be I left 1 or 2 poems i dont really like. I have no problem reading poems.

I also found the translation version of The Twilight books in Bahasa Malaysia (or Indonesia), the New Moon is translated as Cinta Baru, another one is Senjakala. I seldom read fiction.

I think the Toto Chan book is more to biography.

I like reading. But I am not a bibliophile.

Sometimes, I read biblical related stories or articles online or Bible, I often watch biblical series on NatGeo and History channel.

Last week or early this week, I found a motto of a Catholic boy's school, "Cora et Labora". I know it is in Latin, means "Pray and Work", which I agree. When I googled the motto it is actually taken from bible verse or related to something biblical. But I am agree with the motto. I dont know whether "agreeing" with motto which is originally taken or related to something biblical is allowed in Islam. This bother me a bit. any opinion?.

Can a muslim agreeing with bible's verse?

I sing along to Muse's song which title I forgot, but the lyric is more or less like this

"...our hope is an expectation, black hole and revelation..."

I have been listening this song since my final year.

but only last week I knew there is chapter in New Testament called the book of Revelation. Story about Apocalypse.

I knew the first chapter of New Testament is Genesis or "Kejadian" in Indonesian, and the last chapter is "Wahyu" (right?).

I dont understand Bible. Too many versions.

Actually, I took years to finish reading the Al-Quran. Very long time I guess. And only did it once.

Reading is good, those who can read but do not read are losers. After watching The Reader, I feel encouraged to read again. More.

And always remember the first word of wahyu, "Iqra..." "Bacalah.." "Read.."

The first wahyu was not about solat or fasting or zakat but about reading.

p/s: writer reads.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Marchie March

Tiada apa yang menarik buat masa ini. Oh ya aku kembali ke lab yang tidak berapa best tu untuk resume balik kerja2 yang ditinggalkan sejak submit.

I need job more than I need money *puke. Daripada aku bernafas seperti zombie, baik aku mengarut buat apa yang patut di lab tu. Enumerator pro bono, kerja yang aku nak/akan/sedang buat ni biasanya kerja bergaji part time around RM800-1200 sebulan. Aku buat free saja. baik kan aku?. Aku akan cuba untuk tidak berkompromi soal kualiti, akan tetapi I wont burnt myself for this.

ada beberapa lagi perkara penting yang aku perlu buat, seperti buat CV. iya.. sudah tua, CV sendiri nda berupdate. haha. Malas pun ada sebenarnya. apa lagi ya? oh start buat presentation slide untuk my viva la vida. selain dari itu aku nak start buat correction my kodek gigas. eh.. terlebih rajin? bukan sebab aku dah detect beberapa kesilapan *ehem* kecil maka mari kita betulkan sedikit demi sedikit.

sambil2 tu juga aku pergi mengacau orang, mangsa2 aku ialah rumah 60-1b, adik beradik sepeguruan, dan mereka yang hampir dengan 2 kumpulan ini.

tadi resume balik kisah zaman tok kaduk aku, iaitu Famili tumbuhan berbiji. Ni zaman UKM punya cerita. Tak sangka ada juga guna nya sekarang. Aku terulangkaji balik kes lama ni. Ok lah, bukan rugi pun. Sambil2 simpan dalam otak dijadikan pedoman masa depan.

Entah bila ada peluang nak belajar Etnobotani. Hopefully someday. Medicinal plants ni termasuk dalam cultural knowledge yang semakin hilang ditelan zaman (Perghh... ayat!). Pengetahuan Ibu kurang dari pengetahuan nenek, pengetahuan anak kurang dari pengetahuan ibu. Ketirisan indigenous knowledege ini sedang berlaku, dan tidak ramai yang sedar perkara ini (ok aku ni mengarut... tapi ini karutan yang tak karut sangat).

Oh ya finally, sudah tengok The Reader. (selamat duit aku dari membeli Dvdnya.. akan tetapi mungkin akan beli juga nanti).

Aku tengok Quantum of Solace juga. tapi Aku suka The Reader lagi. Tak tahu lah ni adaptasi kisah benar atau kisah fiksyen. Aku suka cerita ini jika dibandingkan dengan The Revolutionary Road,The Reader is much better. (the revolutionary road haram jaddah punya bosan, tak kisah lah berapa banyak sex scene dalam filem tu tetap bosan yang amat).

Little did I know the setting was in Germany post world war 2. (jeng jeng jeng ada cerita disebalik "little did I know"). Part ni yang aku kerap kecewa, cerita pasal orang Jerman tapi dalam bahasa Inggeris. Macam Valkyrie. Walaupun Valkyrie cerita pasal Nazi (tiada yang lebih Jerman selain Nazi bukan?) masih juga less German cerita itu kerana dalam bahasa Inggeris.

The Reader presents drama with high emotion (to some it is boring). Orang kampung memang tidak berkenan dengan cerita ini. Ala biasalah durang tu. Mula2 aku serius ingat cerita ini kisah di Britain, sebab Hanna merujuk seluar sebagai "Trousers" aksen pun British (dah Kate Winslet) budak lelaki yang memegang watak Micheal Berg (Pelakon Narnia) juga ialah seorang British. Oleh kerana aku tidak paid attention in the beginning, dah jauh sikit baru aku sedar ini cerita pasal orang Jerman.

Pada mulanya aku question (semasa plot melompat ke masa hadapan), kenapa pemandu disebalah kiri, kakak aku cakap sebab di Berlin. Then baru aku tahu selama ni cerita tu memang berlaku di Berlin bukan di Britain (lembab kan aku...).

Apapun, apart of menghighlight kisah hubungan seks bawah umur (yeah plenty of raw sex at the beginning, tapi kena tapis, but you and me know it is sex), selain dari itu peringatan tentang Holocaust secara tidak langsung buat ke Gajillion kalinya dari hollywood. seolah2 kita semua tidak tahu apa itu Holocaust (mereka takut kita lupa kot?). Apa yang lain dari yang lain untuk cerita ini ialah tentang buta huruf (illiteracy).

Bagaimana Hanna seorang yang gemar mendengar cerita2 dari novel tapi mempunyai rahsia bahawa dia tidak pandai membaca. Selain dari rahsia she was a Nazi. Bagaimanapun Hanna sanggup mengaku salah bahawa dia lah yang menulis report SS tentang pembakaran beramai-ramai tahanan di dalam gereja. Sedangkan dia tidak tahu menulis. Micheal tahu (ketika itu pelajar law) tentang kebenaran itu tapi enggan memberitahu mahkamah dan Hanna herself wasnt willing to tell the court about the truth. Akibatnya Hanna dipenjara seumur hidup kerana kesalahan membunuh 300 orang. Sanggup masuk jel kau.. dari diketahui umum sebagai buta huruf.

During her later years, Hanna taught herself how to read in the prison. Thanks to Micheal who sent her various stories, he reads the stories and taped his voice. I think this part is brilliant!.

Ayat yang aku suka when Micheal finally met Hanna,

Micheal: What did you learn?
Hanna: I learn how to read.

walaupun hidup Hanna sangat pelbagai, as she was a prison guard in one of Nazi's concentration camp, and then a train worker (penebuk tiket) who at the same time having sexual relationship with 15 years old boy (Micheal), convicted murderer, sent to prison for a very long time, taught herself to read in the prison.

dari semua pengalaman hidup what matter the most to Hanna is she learns how to read.

selain dari itu, ayat Professor undang2 Micheal.

"in law is not about what is right, but what is legal" (lebih kurang aku tak ingat sangat).

ya... dalam undang-undang, bukan tentang apa yang betul tapi apa yang sah (legal) disisi undang-undang.

kawan Micheal, membidas rakan2 dalam seminar (termasuk professor) tentang convicting 6 nazi prison guards would change nothing. kerana ada beratus2 kem tahanan di seluruh Europe kenapa harus meletakkan beban ke atas 6 pengawal?

Hanna juga accepted the fact that she was a nazi prison guard. Dan tak kisah lah dia kena penjara atau apa apa saja, for her the dead is still dead. dia sedekahkan duitnya 700 mark kepada seorang perempuan yahudi yang merupakan survivor dari kem tahananya. Mestilah perempuan yahudi tu tak akan maafkan Hanna, tapi gave her nod for Micheal donating the money to charity on behalf of Hanna.

Hanna mati membunuh diri di selnya pada hari dia sepatutnya dibebaskan. She didnt even pack her belongings. She was about 60++ years old (may be 66). And Micheal was there to fetch her, but in the end he was collecting her body.

At least she got what she always wanted. Ability to read.

Moral: Those who can read but refuse to read are LOSERS.

Hanna yang tak pandai membaca pun ada keinginan nak membaca. Kebolehan membaca ialah satu nikmat, gunakan sepenuhnya. after all, dalam Islam, wahyu pertama ialah tentang membaca.

p/s: Illiteracy + sex theme = Oscar

p/s 2: Nanti aku review The Challenging. Pergh.... I love period movie!.