i am tired delivering good things, but get no appreciation in return. is not like, i want to be appreciated all the time. but once a while, i do.
what will you choose? go do some soul breaking PhD. and no car or no PhD. with cheap car. i rather choose the latter than the former. why? i guess now i want a car more than i want break my soul for PhD.
see i know this is not the heaviest decision to make in this world. choose either wont change the world.
i had my tears rolling before i can replace my 4 years handphone. yes my outdated handphone. i know some of you may think i sound so bimbo. it just a phone to you but for me it is a crusade.
crusade against discrimination, and a fight to stand your ground.
i am tired with unfulfilled words. i was sooooooo hurt when at one time, i really want the motorola phone and i beg i beg to buy it. but i have been told to be more patience. then next time i know the thing i really want end up in my brother's hand. my little brother who caught up smoking, caught up stealing, caught up fighting, got the bloody new phone. the bloody new phone i wanted so badly.
then finally i got a new phone, not exactly i wanted, but good enough. guess what, again i was bluffed. i used money in my bank account and again additional cash i was promised was soooooooooooooooooooo not there.
bluffed, again no suprise.
i have to cry and face some harsh words for a pair of damn shoes. and that tobacco puffing liar easily got pairs of shoes. see.... how little thing can crush you down. the tobacco puffing liar with bad discipline easily get RM 70 for pocket money. me???? i have to ask ASK (means FORGOTTEN every week). for money to buy food.
i asked to buy A PAIR of shoes. and then i am the pin on the arse. but that tobacco puffing liar, who lie in every words, easily get shoes, new shirts, by simply ask. no harsh word uttered to nobody.
i never got arrested. i never make any trouble at school. i always deliver a good result. i never drink a beer. i dont puff bloody tobacco. i dont steal. i am good in handling my money. simply i am good. not angelic good, but still i am good.
this is not about handphone or bloody shoes, or stupid cheap car. this is about unfulfilled words, promises. and everyday i have lesser patience. promise me no more. stop asked me to be more patience. stop. simply stop. i just want promises that given to me fullfiled.
see how good people like me suck. suck bigggg time.
i think i may start puff some tobacco. let see... whether nicotine will make me less suck but much better liar.
3 days ago