Thursday, January 1, 2009

first day of 2009

today is brand new year. anyway... (this has to be my new favourite word to use), i went out with my family. to 1 borneo shopping mall. yes again. actually 1 borneo is the nearest mall from my temp. residence, KF. but very far far away from my family 2nd residence in Putatan.

a lot of people has patronaged the mall. all kind of people. my family has throwed some cash, buying fabrics. lot of fabric. and of khoz, i got my cut. black flower printed regular fabric for baju kurung. i didnt really in mood to throw my cash. emm... speak about cash.

i was furious. i have been furious. there is major jumbo deduction from my bank account and i didnt cause it. ok i withdrawed some cash. but not as much as MYR 4500++. i guess some mistake has taken place here. and if it is a mistake done by stupidity of UMS brusary. then i think we will have serious serious argument on the counter. nope i wont sit tight and just let people plundering my bank account.

i got my money on my mind and my mind on my money. literally. i have done cursing, vulgaring and lost any profane word. i am not good in math. but i know how to count. to be exact i know how to count my money.

money has been in my prior concern since past few months. i have been postponing printing all kind of literature, and references because i want to keep my expenses in control, and i tried very hard to berjimat (saving my money) since yesteryears.

after more than 4 years, finally i changed my hp. before i used my infamous t230. it is not i dont like it. in fact i still can use it. it is still functional. but i want a new phone. and i bought new k770i, for good MYR 650 (my old phone was cost me MYR600).

means in 2004, i bought 2 thins i craved the most, first new mp3 player, and recently, new phone. why i choose k770i, even though the final contender were between k800i or k810i. because both are very outdated, and k770i has the most simmilar function to both. even though k800i has better flash for its built in camera. anyway (again? huh) i like my new phone. i still my old phone with me. this is embarassing but i want to say it, i am still emotionally attached with my old phone.

my crusade to buy a new phone somehow manage to left some scartch to my heart ( i know, i am exaggerating...). though it just a phone, but i can use it as yard stick how gender can determine the treatment you get. i used 'crusade', because i have been ranting (and whining), i have been wanting for the new phone more than 2 years. i asked. i pleaded. i begged. for a new phone.


i have to say this is more than about a new phone. and i must stress, people can blog about everything but not everything can be revealed.

ok i know i sound very bimbo!.

another case about my money, is regarding my claim. and this is crystal clearly an ancient example of Malaysian Gov. servant incompetencey. i submitted my claim in October 2008. and today is the 2009. i havent see the shadow of my pay cheque.

everytime i called, the clerk said ' claim tu masih di bilik boss'. hoi... aku submit claim tu berbulan yang lalu... bos kau simpan lama2 buat apa... bos kau tu yang bengap, tak nak buat kerja. makan jadi buta. makan duit gaji haram.haram jadah. ( i guess i havent lost my skill of cursing).

oh yeah i checked calander, this year chinese zodiac is cow.

i think about money. a lot. your opinion wont matter if you dont have money. and i am female. then it is twice or thirce harder. and when i was walking in the mall earlier today, thinking about reserving my opinion for myself. but i dont think so. i'll say whatever i want to say, but of course i know when and where to say what.
i dont have any particular resolution. but i want to improve my english. yeah better with age. not worse. i spent half of my life learning english, formally at school. and if i am not nail it. then all those years of learning will be wasted. seriously, in Malaysia a person spent 6 years in primary and 5 years in secondary to learn english. at least still there is issue about poor command in english among local graduates. may be i am included in the statistic. basically i dont care. i always try to improve.

i read a blog belong to an UMS student last night. in that blog commenting about unemployment after graduation. this is Lapok issue, or some people prefer to say cliche. unemployment... is not unique for Malaysia. and neither to local graduates. it is cosmopolitan issue. people are pretending to be shocked when presented with some figure or stat. for example, i am jobless. who try hard to earn a living though blogging. and i managed (so far) to scrap between MYR0.25-MYR1.00 per week.

can i survive with MYR1.00 per week?. HELL NO... but i try. after years, i found something i like to do. and this something actually enable me to earn some money. i like to just makan gaji. but no one employ me. personally i am interested in agriculture and farming bussines. but i wont. WON'T. apply a loan to start a bussines. and i must stress i dont have any interest in construction bussines.

for me construction bussines is not for me. there is to much mumbo jumbo. you know its guy stuff kind of thinking. in my kampung, these so call old guys are bluffing to each other.

my certificate cannot be used to apply 'kontraktor kelas f' license. therefore it has lesser value than certificate that can. my certificate cannot entitle me, 'assistant architect'. once a close relative said to me, 'biologi? dimana lah kamu laku? di pertanian saja kamu ni laku'. this thing happened when i was an intern in Agriculture Department. sound like my Biology certificate is useless to get me a job. i could reply with harsh words in order to hurt. but i didnt. i just nodded my head few times as i was agree. and of khoz with my artificial smile.

i dont apply for dpli or kpli. i dont have attributes of teacher. who knows some day i will. i

i am tired with 'si anu sudah beli kereta, si anu sudah kawin, si anu sudah kerja'. yes everytime all these si anu's stories poped out in conversation, i think everything positive. may be it is not my rezeki yet. but i have to say that somehow, i do feel like crap. may be the kahwin stuff, is not in my concern. but THE CAR is!. THE JOB is!. earlier this evening, a friend asking about the kahwin stuff. hahaha..

and still i havent see my promised graduation gift. yeah my promised graduation gift. if i have to wait for 4 years for a bloddy new hand phone, then i wont suprise that my graduation gift is seperti mengejar fatamorgana (chasing a mirage). you think you get it...opppss think again..

i keep on telling myself to be patience. practically everyday.

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