since my posts today are about my crushes in the past, so why not continue blogging about them. yes THEM. i had more than 1 crush in this life.
ok lets talk about the most handsome guy in my crush list (david beckham is listing in special list, so count him out). i met him in matric college, (yes i had more than 1, another was the sarawakian). he is very handsome and tall and has a girlfriend. the couple didn't have problem to overdo their PDA. and me didnt (still dont) have problem to like someone who already in a relationship. after all it was juz feeling. nothing wrong about it as long as i keep it on harmless dose (i think). oh ya.. his name, shafeeq.
like the sarawakian, shafeeq too was physic student. but my crush for shafeeq was something i did openly. i confessed to my friends that i like him. i liked to see him. didn't matter whether he was with his girlfriend, he went to class, or when he was in the mosque. sometime i did, sunk into my feeling to far. juz one thing, i never told him what i felt. this was because he was with someone (kalau konfem single, may be i will). plus i was very careful, since i wasn't very sure about the feeling, either pure or juz a simple 2 weeks crush.
one stupid sweet thing i always remember, one late afternoon i went to admin building. in the elevator i bumped to him. he wore blue long sleeve shirt, carried his backpack. i was standing behind him. the elevator was mildly crowded and when he was stepping backward to find some room behind he accidentally stepped my shoe. then he looked back at me and gently said sorry. wahhh..... what gentleman he was, i tried very hard to look as cool as possible. but my heart was beating like Brazilian samba drum in rio de janiero's carnival. then after that i smiled all the way back to my dorm. i told my roomies and everyone.
i always got updated news about him, thanks to my buddies, razman, nel, and sometime kamarul. they always told me shafeeq's what and about. from how he washed his face to who were his study buddies, when shafeeq did his laundry and how often shafeeq went to mosque. luckily my buddies stayed in the same building with shafeeq. so my informations were very hot and crunchy.
shafeeq might be spent a little to much time with his girlfriend, and laid his hand on her provocatively. and some people in college really hated him because of that. shafeeq used to be a punching bag in ceramah or tazkirah. i wont blame the budak masjid for said such thing to him, because religiously speaking what he did was wrong. for me (may be i biased since i like shafeeq), the budak masjid should tell him what he did wrong in private.
from my buddies, shafeeq never got pissed about being condemned in ceramah. he was still in the jemaah. he still went to mosque regularly. he pocketed some respect for that. he was man enough to admit his mistakes. sadly he did it again and again... kira2 kalis ceramah juga lah dia ni..
on friday shafeeq always wore songkok but never fully dressed baju melayu with sampin. he wore shirt to attend class and changed to baju melayu for friday prayer. always white in colour baju melayu. he also never wore short sleeve shirt as formal apparel. long sleeve shirt in blue, dark blue, purple or purple with strip, may be sometime white. on weekend, he wore his cap a lot. i never saw he wore the college's official neck ties. he own few neckies that matched his shirt.
i never saw him in sarong. although i really like to see him wear it. once a while in my eyes malay man look manly when wears sarong. and personally i think shafeeq is a kind of guy who knows what to wear and when to wear it. but he never dressed to kill. (ooohhh my... i still remember his wardrobe after almost 5 years!!!!)
after finished the matric courses, i never see him again. but dont count me out too soon. i knew that he was studying in ums. i knew first he took geology than changed to mathematic-economy. i knew he joined the canoe team in his freshman year. i knew he stayed in kampung B residential college. i knew he had to do extra semester to finish his study. and he will be graduated officially this august.
hopefully i will see him again, sometime soon. i dont know whether my feeling for him still like then. whatever it will, i cant deny the fact that i stalked him. yeah may be it wasnt crush, it wasnt romance, it was merely obsession. but now it is faded obsession.
p/s: '...kau dan jua aku, dua hati yang tak mungkin bersatu...'- lagu untukmu, meet uncle hussain
Musibah datang kerana dosa kita.
3 days ago