April

1) hari ini adik aku konvo diploma in civil engineering. Tahniah
2) Anak buah meragam. Aku lock up myself dalam bilik. Budak2 tengok tv.
3) Kerja bertimbun yang banyak... tak tau nak mula kat mana.
4) Boyfriend belasah tidur sepanjang ahad. Call tidur. Sms tidur. Aisey..  I miss you lah. Faham tak?

Pfft.. Gossips.

I've been busy with work, life and everything in between. Things are happening now.. I dont know whether I like it or hate it.

Recently, I feel uncomfortable with some amount of limelight given to my personal life, especially thing between me and my boyfriend. It's ok to have pet talk or casual chat about me. I dont really mind. But when people keep on digging what I do with my boyfriend, whether we had fight the night before or not, which hotel we had checked in last weekend, what clothes in our closet, all these irritate me somehow.

To certain ugly extend, people try to "decide" on when we suppose to have baby. I always distance myself from making decision for others when it comes to family or their personal life. It isnt my thing, and I dont think it is proper to stick your nose into people's bedroom. I repeat, I dont mind casual talk. But I think there are lines crossed when people start telling me why I should not opt for any contraception method and ACTUALLY start to predict that I am going to have baby by next year. Discussing my relationship isnt enough, now people actually drag sex related topic into it.

I try to be as liberal as I can. But please dont make any decision for me. You are entitle to your opinion. You may say it out loud, but once you said "Hey, you, dont use any contraception method on your early marriage years, just take it naturally. Dont plan your family, if there's baby, take it". My answer for your every suggestion or opinion would be, roll your opinion really tight, lick it really nice. Shove it up on your ass.

I openly admit to people I am dating someone. That's it.. I dont discuss with others how to run this relationship, since such thing shall be discussed between me and partner, not in a boardroom meeting.

On how I am going to live my life.. you may say anything. But dont expect me to follow your suggestion. These gossip mongers need to watch melodi and E! more often to quench their thirst for gossips and those stupid busybody stuff.

Finance Finance Finance

I hate having problem with money, sadly I am now. I purchased a unit of flat.. which cost me almost everything, including my dignity. Yeah.. that hard. It is a no win situation for me, If I dont purchase now, then the inflation will swell, the price will hike, everything will lead to further financial liability.

If I have RM10K now, and decide to wait another 3 years to use it, the value of today RM10K wont be the same in next 3 years. So I have such amount of money, still insufficient to cover for down payment. But I took the unlikely way, I borrowed huge sum of cash from my father. To pay for another 93% of the down payment.

Now I have to pay the 93% amount ASAP.. or at least half of it soon. I am considering to apply for personal loan to cover the huge cash I owe from my father. The plan is I will wait for few months, if any way I manage pay at least 30% of the loan within 3 months, then I put the personal loan application on hold. So far I can 6%. Another 24% is a big task to do.

This will make me feel like shits for another few months for sure. If not forever.

January 2

I am on attempt to eat healthy food and be happy and healthier. Since end of 2011, I've been trying to reduce my carbs and sugar intake.. so far Alhamdulillah.. but still a lot to improve. Kadang2 ada relapse especially kalau musim cuti, and I still eat McD like twice or thrice a week. Maka memang lah aku minum coca cola disitu.

My weight range from 53-56. Which much better than 2 years ago at my heaviest I hit more than 62kg, or worst 66kg. One of my biggest problem is I dont work out and meat is my kryptonite. Real girl eats beef. And I eat a lot. So need to cut down some meat, and try to obtain protein from nuts and beans. Harap2 lah.

I cant do them all sekali gus, and I dont eat those healthy chic new york style yuppie diet like e.g. strict vegan, paleo diet, makan oat siang malam. etc. I do what I can, I can reduce carbs and maintain (which harder), I can cut down meat intake (harap2 lah, I did when I was 18), and I still park kereta jauh dari pejabat so I can walk. Walaupun bukan laju tapi.. still better than park kereta di depan tangga office.

Hopefully, I can have more time to do some running. I like running btw. On 17 Jan, plannya ialah join opening sukan staff, yang melibatkan sedikit bergerak dan memanjat bukit. End of Jan, Im going to sandakan. So harap2 I can jogging2 with him or walking around RDC.

For me to accept food only as a fuel and nutrition is hard, because I enjoy eating. But that must stop. I've been cheating my body with food since I was 18 (before 18 I eat less crappy delicious food like mcD, and I played sport, running, lontar2 bola). This year, Im going to be 28, must stop the unhealthy eating ni, at least reduce. And back to basic.

p/s: dulu mana masa sekolah mana ada duit mau beli makanan yang sedap dan tidak sihat like fast food and seafood. Makan apa yang dimasak dirumah sahaja.

January 1

Happy New Year 2013

Since my life much revolve in universtiy, so time is mostly dictated by semester. So simpan lah azam-azam baru semua for next semester. Semester ni hendak siapkan kerja.

What I really need now is new desk calendar 2013. Senang mau plan conteng sana sini. Or I can buy Galaxy Note 2. We'll see.

Oh ya henpon hilang hari tu. Nanti ada masa aku cerita.

Intermission

Someday, people will listen my monotonous stoic voice and kill themselves out of pity. I get away, and they are dead.

............

I can just burn you with my eyes while I am looking at somewhere else. Hot as Hell.

2 December

Today, 6 months. Thank you for everything, especially the ring. Haha. I love you so much my darling. My heart and love grow fonder for you and for us. Everyday.

November 2

I believe jodoh is belong to Allah SWT. Allah can give it to you, as much as it can be taken back. So does life, Allah SWT gives us our soul, and if Allah's will to take back our life, to Him return we shall.

I love my life, people around me, my parents, my family, my boyfriend, his family, my friends. They all matter to me. But Allah knows best, sometimes we can steer the wheel, but sometimes wind blows to the undesirable way. We cant control the the wind.

Last night, a neighbour from kampung literally drop and dead. He was playing futsal, had breathing difficulty. Boom! dead. Just like that. Still in his 30's. This, makes me reflect a bit, and of course makes me feel a bit soft today (hence, this post). And it also a reminder to me, death is real, acknowledging mortality would make us value life. More.

P/s: May Allah forgives the dead, and place him with the believers. Amin.

November 1

Beli laptop baru hari ini. Acer for RM1499. Not bad, for the price. But still, I am not comfortable with this Window 8. Nanti boleh lah tulis cerita panjang-panjang macam dulu. My old HP netbook masih boleh pakai, tapi slow, I give it to my sister. Supaya dia boleh guna untuk aktiviti karaoke youtube nya. Harap dia dapat upgrade sikit bagi laju.

11 Oktober

Ini ialah hari lahir aku. Tahun ini yang ke 27.

Terima kasih kepada yang titipkan ingatan, doa, ucapan ulang tahun. Semoga kita semua dirahmati Allah SWT.

Happy Mother's Day to my Mama. Semoga Allah SWT merahmati my Mama. Sihat dan gembira selalu.

Sibuk betul masa hari jadi semalam. I was in BTN camp, rush balik KK sebab ada meeting penting. Tahun ni dapat 2 biji kek. Terima Kasih. Minum2 dengan kawan, Makan lunch dengan anak murid. Weekend mau jumpa family di kampung, dan sambung aktiviti makan2 lagi.

I miss Maman so much. Minggu depan jumpa ya.. Insya Allah.

Syukur Alhamdulillah. People gave me two cakes on my 27th bday, Im lucky, I survive to adulthood. Alhamdulillah, again.